tears flowing as I log in to write something here
This is my last couple days being a full time mommy to my baby Natalie. I have never felt more accomplished and defeated at the same time.
From the pregnancy itself, to a painful labor that ended up with my being wheeled to the OR, to seeing Natalie for the first time. Then the adjustment into motherhood, from the very first night I beared down on the labor pains & stood up to hold and sing my baby to sleep. I made it tough on myself, all those sleepless hours wth aching arms, yet I'll never give that time time away. Then, the tough infancy of breastfeeding pain, anxiety and effort to overcome slow weight gain, and of course.. managing hip dysplasia.
During these last five and a half months of motherhood, I've come a long way.
Now it's time to let go, and it's just not as imagined. I was hoping to relish this weekend, go somewhere scenic for memory photos. But the entire morning was spent trying to bottle train. I'm unsure if my attempts have skewed the progress that James made.
I may be comforted with her suckling at my breast a thousand times more her
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