Bathtime

4/29/15

Oh how tiny you are,

But apparently grew enough to fit into your (one & only) Newborn onesie 

All the Little Things

Having a newborn, it's all the little things that amazes me.  Every funny face, smile, Just now, we realized she turns 

I Spy a..

Double chin!

Oh, how that thrills my heart. 

He was First

A friend posted this on Facebook

http://www.scissortailsilk.com/2014/01/24/before-you-were-mommy/

& it really brought me to tears

Ladies, before you were Mommy, you were his. When Mommy becomes your name, remember this man. Remember that you are his wife. Remember how much you love and appreciate him in this moment. Remember his dedication to your family. Remember his love and devotion to you. And then, when the days are long and you need a break, fall into his arms.

Just gave the snoring (only when he's super tired, like watching baby until 3-4AM everyday this week so I can sleep) husband a big kiss on his forehead cheek and lips

Happy News

Never been so nervous..

Waiting at the pediatrician office for baby's 3rd weight check post discharge 

--

!! UPDATE !!

1. WEIGHT 

Natalie is now 6 lb 10 oz, almost birth weight of 6 lb 11 oz but more importantly.. 

SHE GAINED 1 oz/ day SINCE MONDAY APPOINTMENT, & when the pediatrician saw how much / often she's been feeding.. No more weight check visits. Next visit to pediatrician will be for her vaccinations 

2. HIP DYSPLASIA

Already has improved with 2 days of the harness.  Orthopedic surgeon is aware of her case & recommends the harness 23-24hours/ day until he sees her in 2 weeks.  From there, she might be off it, OR possible continue until her ultrasound. Speaking of which, ortho doesn't see the 3.5 week ultrasound necessary & it'll be rescheduled to the usual 6 weeks.  

I'm ecstatic that the pediatrician can feel/ hear the improvement!! 

& yes I'm pumping

Amazon hands free bra is awesome!

Harnessed

Today, after coming home with a Pavlik harness. She cried and I couldn't  comfort her the Usual way.  My holding her in my arms was no longer comfortable, so I laid her on my belly and sobbed uncontrollably

Never felt so much defeat sadness and sense of failure.  I felt handicapped 

In that moment, my baby Natalie stopped crying. She looked towards me, & as I saw her beautiful eyes.. I just cried so much more for the love I feel for her

-- 

Day 10 started off great.  I embraced the new feedings, and took pumping with a frevor.  My chapped hands and broken nails are a testament to my determination to clean everything sterile & perfect.  I log each session each bottle, planned my waking & sleeping moment around pumping & feeding.  In exchange, Natalie expends less energy in feeding & sleeps better. Her dirty diapers have increased, even despite my almost nill left boob.  I even was able to pump an extra bottle (albeit only 0.4 oz) that came in handy at the harness fitting 

Natalie's extra sleep gave me the opportunity to make phone calls.  Now we have an orthopedic appt, & was in the works of getting that Pavlik harness.  Last minute, we were able to be seen at Santa Monica. Sweet daddy met us there

Unfortunately, the therapist? Technician? Was a complete.. Idiot. He fumbled with everything, didn't have any information or advice, & his "fitting" was just an attempt to make her look like the photo in the instruction handout.  & even then, the chest piece was inappropriately placed 'a date pas were dangling everywhere.  What a frustrating experience, 

But luckily, daddy fixed everything at home. 

Today, James really fixed everything. I love him so much, & I can't wait to see how much Natalie will love her daddy.

Love

As I hold my little baby daughter in my arms, I just feel so overwhelmed by a love I've never felt before. It fills me, so full that it has nowhere to go but burst.  In tears.  These tears are of love, gratitude, and joy.

This teeny snoring baby that sighs and grunts and smirks and frowns, hiccups too.  All in her sleep, in my arms just now. And entire life of emotions in just one dream

then just bursts into

I succumbed

Gave her a paci

Happy ONE Week

Like goldfish in a bowl, we are stuck with each other.. Forever

Bursting with love for you, would never have it any other way 

Postpartum Tears

I burst into tears, as my husband held my hand in bed.
after a long day of focusing only on little Nari

I felt a rush of support, immense gratitude, happiness and love

Newborn Photoshoot- Part 2

Picking out the photos for the collection (full edit), and gallery (quick edit)
So tough cuz (biased statement coming) little Nari is too cute in every photo

Newborn Photoshoot

Laura Jane studios
Mini photo session,
Squeezed in a nap

Sneak peek

First Pediatrician Visit

Newborn exam
Femur home slightly creaking and slippimg out, rule out hip dysplasia

Followup weight check on Monday,
Hopefully find out if we are approved for ultrasound as well

Nightmare First Night

Realizing my mom is no good, possibly horrible, with newborns

Week 40- Jackfruit

Instead, she's here in my arms, 3 days old

My Hospital Stay

Quite eventful
First the scare at L&D
Then the sewage backup in my sink, but gave us immediate VIP status

Visitor list-
My mother
Mariela & Gene
Alice & Younger
James' mom
Jessica

My mother
Phuong
Meeyoung
Shannon & Dan
Vivian
Helen
Jessica

Loved the Ucla staff, especially the nurses. Except, my last nurse...
Also, negative experience with the transport & the volunteer that left my box of food & loaf of fresh 85c white bread behind
Discharged at noon

The Birth Story

(Written way in the future, after the chaos of the hospital and first week settled down)

Contractions started at midnight
Checked into triage at 7 am
Intense labor by 8 am, wheeled to OR
Return to L&D
Start pushing 1140
Gave birth at 1 pm

Week 39- Watermelon

The last stretch..

FISHY

- flexing her limbs

- lots of movement, not just kicks but entire body moving from left to right to front to back.  Comforting, but It's almost a quesy feeling

- brain rapidly developing.  Been joking around the last few weeks, voicing out  "I'm fee-shee" , "it's me, it's me"

- nails might extend past her fingertips. So curious!

ME

- having the most difficult time sleeping through the night.  The last 3 nights I've been wide awake for several hours at a time (mainly between 3-5 AM).  Restless, but tired.  I found comfort wrapped in a thick winter blanket on the couch.  Yup, in the living room.  Wanted huaband to get his sleep, since he works beyond full time

- Gained almost 45 pounds, with majority of it (guessing 30-35 pounds) in the last trimester 

Looks stuffed with a beach ball, huh?