First Obgyn Appt for No.2

i had my ultrasound and Obgyn appointment with a new doctor.  Great experience, plus they used the legit high-tech machine. It was eassuring to see baby, hear its heartbeat, actually see the chambers pumping back and forth, and also,.. to confirm my ovarian cysts were under control at 2 cm.

So based on my LMP, I was 8 weeks 6 days, but the measurements came back 7 weeks and 3 days. So apparently, my new due date is June 17, 2017.  Which so happens to be the exact same due date as my bestie.  How exciting is that?

7 months 7 days

She's my everything

Current sleep schedule

Everything has changed since I went back to work

Now, Natalie is 

- Up at 8/830

- naps twice

- down by 9/930

So, here's our usual (& crazy) schedule
When i work, i get home earliest 745 PM, but regardles

830 PM- bath, sometimes skipped

9/930 PM- ideally, baby is asleep

If I can't get her to sleep, James takes her at 930 and works his magic. Regardless, she sleeps on me until
1030/11 PM when I transfer her off me.  which honestly hasn't been happening

**10 PM to 130/2 AM** James on work call, yup. five nights a week, poor daddy

1130 PM/ 12 AM- wakes up, usually a diaper change & some snuggle fixes her up. If not, I'll nurse her & put her down next to me. This is when I sleep-sleep

130/2 AM- when James goes to sleep, I'll dream nurse Natalie.  Skipped if she nursed at MN

430/5 AM- like an alarm, she wakes up.  Then i'll nurse her.  there's been 1-2 occasions that when she doesn't wake..

6 AM- I'll wake her to nurse her before leaving to work. 

8/830 AM- up and James takes her to daycare by 845, or she hangs out with mama on my day off 

Natalie used to wake with the sun & have 3 naps.  Now that she sleeps in, she gets 2 naps

Usually 12, for 30 mins 

Usually 4, for 60-90 mins 

That said, just last week she had an epic 3 hour nap at 330, haha

Mamma

During tummy time today, Natalie looked straight at me and said Mamma.  

Yes, it was part of her whining, and was sandwiched between her other baby babble. Yes, she was looking at me, almost in tears, trying to ask to be carried.  But it was clear, distinct, and there.

18 weeks

Almost 4 months,

& her first full on diaper rash with hives aggregated by new baby wipes (seventh generation)

Calls for naked tummy time!

11 weeks

Oh how I love my little squish angel.  And how she adores me, happiest in my arms & tracking me when held by anybody else including daddy.

She's been really playing lots under her Underwater playgym & jungle mobile.  A good ten minutes at each "station", which might not seem like much but it's my opportunity to shove my mouth with lunch (sometimes chips and a drink) or take a pee.  She loves her flower mobile above the changing table, often cooing and smiling.  I refer to them as her best friends.  So I went and got the wimmer-ferguson stim mobile, which essentially are these simple image or patterned cards.  It's been attaching to her RockNplay cradle.  Initially she was ambivalent, but now catching her attention a bit more.

On a side note, the RNP has affectionately been renamed the Poop chair by daddy.  Cuz essentially, she's been going poop in there quite well.  I think it gives her little feet something to push against, hehe

The swing is still where she ends up hanging out, so mommy & daddy can have our meals together.  I try not to abuse her affinity for it, so I might have her in there max twice weekly (in addition to our dinners) to be able to do whatever emergent thing.

This past week, she's been sleeping through the nights.  There are several caveats..
- That it requires some work to get here to unwind and relax.  This including hourly nursing for several sessions.  Me holding and dancing her, to my childhood tunes.. Sound of Music, Disney's it's a small world, kindergarten and Christmas songs
- If she's too fussy, we include a bath that averages every other day
- keeping her warm, the footed pajamas have been working the best
- Also, her first "round" of deep sleep is in my arms against my shoulder and chest.  It's okay, since that's my time to catch up with the world via iPad (including now).  I no longer bother trying to put her down, as she would wake in minutes.  At which point, only nursing would calm her.  But of course, my supply wouldn't have replenished and it becomes a nightmarish downward spiraling insomnia for the both of us
- When I hear her rustle about, usually after a good 2 hours after the start of her nursing, I take her for a diaper change and usually a session of in-the-dark night nursing.  I can't be lazy about this, cuz once she fully awakens, I would have to start from the very beginning
- this would total 10-13 hours of sleep, only interrupted wth the above (which is realy just me hustling)

I want to say we got a pretty good understanding of each other:)

10 Weeks

Started off with the longest stretch of sleep.  I would be waking before natalie, mostly from habit but also from engorgement.  Little baby kept sleeping away, and as she stirred, I would change her diaper & start nursing,  I kept her sleepiness extended to all day, and all morning!
Side note, Pretty much gave into exclusively co-sleeping, mostly out of weighing the benefit of longer (less deep) sleep over less sleep in general.

Was just nice snoozing all morning, and "sleeping in".  Even more so for James, since hes not the one nursing Hehe

Had a late lunch outing to sawtelle.  Ended up frustrated at the parking garage, including an impatient girl too generous with her horn.  Poor natalie screamed in surprise.  Then unimpressed with chicken Dijon (dry), and our favorite boba milk tea shop was closed for renovation.  But we made it out!  Plus, it was my first time breastfeeding in public.  Wasn't perfect, but it happened.

Natalie got plenty of playtime with her dad.  Honestly, James is great keeping her entertained.  She's come to a point where she watches him, even while nursing!

It's been a while since I made dinner.  It happened, the menu was salt & pepper chicken breast, served with spaghetti (but bow tie) and arugula drizzled in lemon olive oil.  Although it was late, then sat there getting cold while natalie nursed, so ended up eating dinner at 10 pm.

& the highlight was that we watched tv for the first time since becoming parents (OITNB)
Thought it's fine, natalie is still an infant.  Plus, we kept her eyes away from the tv.  She was always held , and mostly slept in our arms.

Husband just got..

..pooped on

Bright yellow uni-like poo

Last week, I wasn't quick enough covering baby with a washcloth after washing her bum in the sink. She had an accident and peed all over me & my pants.  Thought that was bad

Nope, being pooped on is worse

Too bad I was in shock, 

We don't have a photo documenting this moment ;)

Mothers Revolve Around Their Children

Happy 3 weeks, my angel

With everyday, I become less of myself and more your mother. I can clearly see how women lose their identity to simply become a child's mom.  It's all worth it, as I start knowing your nuances.  

I'm getting quite well versed on how to keep you more comfortable.  It's really the simple things.. when to diaper change, how to diaper change as quickly as possible with the Pavlik harness.  When to feed you, when to wake you up for a feed.  How to feed you, how to pace your feeds.  You've started having gas, and I've started giving you back massages with 2 fingers squeezed behind your harness back straps.  Techniques to put you to sleep, then keep you asleep (hopefully in your bassinet but oftentimes) even if it means that I'm awkwardly sit-laying to become your warm vibrating mattress.  These small simple things define my life as of now, along with every 2-2.5 hours pumping sessions to provide your sustenance. 

I live for your smiles, your grunts and gurgles.  I love your smell, your soft skin, your full head of blonde streaked dark hair.  My heart is full, as you grew an extra chin and a giant belly this past week.  I live to see you developing, Just yesterday you changed your focus to me as I came to you.  You looked straight at me, into my eyes. Oh how it thrilled me that you wanted to see your mother.

I love you so much, incredibly so. 

Bathtime

4/29/15

Oh how tiny you are,

But apparently grew enough to fit into your (one & only) Newborn onesie 

All the Little Things

Having a newborn, it's all the little things that amazes me.  Every funny face, smile, Just now, we realized she turns 

I Spy a..

Double chin!

Oh, how that thrills my heart. 

Happy News

Never been so nervous..

Waiting at the pediatrician office for baby's 3rd weight check post discharge 

--

!! UPDATE !!

1. WEIGHT 

Natalie is now 6 lb 10 oz, almost birth weight of 6 lb 11 oz but more importantly.. 

SHE GAINED 1 oz/ day SINCE MONDAY APPOINTMENT, & when the pediatrician saw how much / often she's been feeding.. No more weight check visits. Next visit to pediatrician will be for her vaccinations 

2. HIP DYSPLASIA

Already has improved with 2 days of the harness.  Orthopedic surgeon is aware of her case & recommends the harness 23-24hours/ day until he sees her in 2 weeks.  From there, she might be off it, OR possible continue until her ultrasound. Speaking of which, ortho doesn't see the 3.5 week ultrasound necessary & it'll be rescheduled to the usual 6 weeks.  

I'm ecstatic that the pediatrician can feel/ hear the improvement!! 

& yes I'm pumping

Amazon hands free bra is awesome!

Harnessed

Today, after coming home with a Pavlik harness. She cried and I couldn't  comfort her the Usual way.  My holding her in my arms was no longer comfortable, so I laid her on my belly and sobbed uncontrollably

Never felt so much defeat sadness and sense of failure.  I felt handicapped 

In that moment, my baby Natalie stopped crying. She looked towards me, & as I saw her beautiful eyes.. I just cried so much more for the love I feel for her

-- 

Day 10 started off great.  I embraced the new feedings, and took pumping with a frevor.  My chapped hands and broken nails are a testament to my determination to clean everything sterile & perfect.  I log each session each bottle, planned my waking & sleeping moment around pumping & feeding.  In exchange, Natalie expends less energy in feeding & sleeps better. Her dirty diapers have increased, even despite my almost nill left boob.  I even was able to pump an extra bottle (albeit only 0.4 oz) that came in handy at the harness fitting 

Natalie's extra sleep gave me the opportunity to make phone calls.  Now we have an orthopedic appt, & was in the works of getting that Pavlik harness.  Last minute, we were able to be seen at Santa Monica. Sweet daddy met us there

Unfortunately, the therapist? Technician? Was a complete.. Idiot. He fumbled with everything, didn't have any information or advice, & his "fitting" was just an attempt to make her look like the photo in the instruction handout.  & even then, the chest piece was inappropriately placed 'a date pas were dangling everywhere.  What a frustrating experience, 

But luckily, daddy fixed everything at home. 

Today, James really fixed everything. I love him so much, & I can't wait to see how much Natalie will love her daddy.

Love

As I hold my little baby daughter in my arms, I just feel so overwhelmed by a love I've never felt before. It fills me, so full that it has nowhere to go but burst.  In tears.  These tears are of love, gratitude, and joy.

This teeny snoring baby that sighs and grunts and smirks and frowns, hiccups too.  All in her sleep, in my arms just now. And entire life of emotions in just one dream

then just bursts into

Happy ONE Week

Like goldfish in a bowl, we are stuck with each other.. Forever

Bursting with love for you, would never have it any other way 

Newborn Photoshoot- Part 2

Picking out the photos for the collection (full edit), and gallery (quick edit)
So tough cuz (biased statement coming) little Nari is too cute in every photo

Newborn Photoshoot

Laura Jane studios
Mini photo session,
Squeezed in a nap

Sneak peek

First Pediatrician Visit

Newborn exam
Femur home slightly creaking and slippimg out, rule out hip dysplasia

Followup weight check on Monday,
Hopefully find out if we are approved for ultrasound as well