Night sickness

Okay, so the past 5 days I've been suffering from REALLY bad morning sickness , mostly at night. So night sickness 

Excruciating stomach pains, like sharp deep pains, I believe progesterone induced gas pains & pretty much throwing up everything non stop. Also, my Bm's have been loose to extra loose, sigh. 

Today was a little teenier bit better, 

But who am I kidding, I have no idea how I'll survive work tomorrow,.. 

the anxiety is overwhelming me,..

K I really really need to sleep. 

I'll keep everyone posted

First cake

This morning, I cut myself a piece of cake &  Natalie joined in. She loved it

So her first cake is king's Hawaiian paradise cake, the pink layer.  The same cake we had for our wedding.

First Obgyn Appt for No.2

i had my ultrasound and Obgyn appointment with a new doctor.  Great experience, plus they used the legit high-tech machine. It was eassuring to see baby, hear its heartbeat, actually see the chambers pumping back and forth, and also,.. to confirm my ovarian cysts were under control at 2 cm.

So based on my LMP, I was 8 weeks 6 days, but the measurements came back 7 weeks and 3 days. So apparently, my new due date is June 17, 2017.  Which so happens to be the exact same due date as my bestie.  How exciting is that?

17 Months in Korea

just realized she's now 17 months. Been traveling the past week, first to San Francisco, then Half Moon Bay, a couple days at San Jose, and now in Seoul.
What a little trooper, flying has been surprisingly smooth.  She enjoys the airport, and has been loving Korea. More so being spoiled with  family spoilin her to bits.

Tonight, just now she cried out in her sleep. It was a bit of stuffy nose, sore throat cough, and mostly reassurance. She reached and found my hand, pulled it close to her chest and fell back asleep holding my hand. My heart just melts

Little miss independent

Climbed up the Chickfila playgym on her own, explored the different areas, & came down the slide. Three times in a row, got so hungry she even has a piece of chicken! 

Udon monster

8/14 

Didn't matter she was sick with sniffles & a cough, unable to walk about her cheerful self.  Natalie finished off an entire bowl of udon noodles today 

Complete freedom

Last night, first time ever, zero nursing sessions 

But probably the worst sleep I had in months, with Natalie going down at 1am and just fighting her teething pain 

15 month appointment

7/22

Little trooper got 3 vaccines, and her ears are clear. All back molars just coming up, & measured 50% length and 90% weight at 25 lbs. was praised for having a smarty, being able to put together words and have an extensive vocabulary for her age.  so proud of my little chunkster 

Fire

5,500 acre fire in Valencia, un contained 

Came out to an IG filter morning, &my drive to work was like a bad 90's shirt  with the pink tinged neon orange sun 

Random favorite word

Owl 

Pronounced ow-wheel

So cute

The random thing, she knows her knee high socks are owls and insists I put them on. Then she proceeds to kiss it 😂💖💕

Little miss independent

Climbed up then down the slide by herself at the play area of Chickfila
Twice!

First molars

Top right baby molar

So she's got 7 on top 

& 6 on bottom 

Pretty much a full set of pearly whites 

15 months

Taking steps, usually up to five at a time

& chatting up a storm

Hmm, a list of her words:

Umma 

Appa

Appa tee (daddy's toy)

Hi 

Bye bye, while waving or blowing kisses
No. No
Yes, shaking head intentionally
All done, while signing 
Bbo Bbo (kiss kiss)
Ah yebbuda (oh, so pretty)

Mimi (lambie lovey)

Mam Ma (yummy)
That!
What's that?
Ball
Bubbles 

Go !!!!
Socks
Mung mung (dog)

Bow bow (Brown bear, also brings me the book to read her)

Canines!

just noticed, Natalie's top canines broke through. Yay!
Now for the bottom set, & all her molars

five steps

Like a boss, five steps!

All clear

Just got back from our one month followup, and the ears are clear. Both!  What a relief, we won't need to be going to ENT for surgery consult.  I guess a good month of no colds does wonders.

So, the recent ear tugging and fussiness,..? Turns out Natalie is legitimately teeth. All four canines and the molars are all trying to break through all at once.  Poor baby

Oh, and the nurse weighed Natalie at 24 lbs!  Finally gained some weight after a good 4 month limbo

Happy 14 Months

It's only been 2 months since her birthday, and I feel as thought she's an entirely different person.  Still chatty, happy and plenty of giggles.  But now, she throws in a fake laugh or two.  Still hates her diaper changes, honestly can't blame her with the antibiotic induced yeast infection, but now she whines discontent even before we put her on the changing table.  And knows to throw mini tantrums. Haha.  She's gotten quite attached to her little rabbit doll, and insists we all give it "bbo bbo", kisses in Korean. As for her own kisses to mommy and daddy, they are more of a love bite.  Not a great eater in terms of quantity, but open minded to exploring foods.  Fruits are not a favorite, steamed veggies are a hit or miss, but she's still been liking yogurt and cheese. It's been quite some time since we took her to eat udon noodles, but she's had butter pasta and chicken noodle soup with half the zeal.

Oh, just how much we love her is so hard to express in words.

Pumping

Thought I was weaning..

But this just happened 

The Night I Need Sleep..

I ask for a little help

I mean, I just have one more shift of a 4 day straight 

And after barely trying for five, he dumps her in the crib. And she's just scream crying for the past 10..,

There's no way I can sleep like this at 3AM

Happy baby

Natalie's antibiotic induced diaper rash has improved significantly, & she continues to charm her G-Ma & G-pops (my parents) so much that they've been picking her up early from daycare at least twice a week. It really helps with James not having to leave work early. Side tracking..

She's showing no signs of ear infection, despite having one. I'm just really hoping for a quiet month& find out her ears self resolved on the follow up. She needs that break:):)

Oh, and where has my baby gone?

Sad news

I took Natalie to pediatrician since she finished her second course of antibiotics. Ear infection is still there, not as much pus but filled with fluids , we might end up at the ENT & worse case scenario is she will need surgery 

13 months

Nothing to report, other than being bummed out about the recurrent ear infection and subsequent diaper rash. Sigh..

Oh, I guess Natalie is very mobile. Most crawling, lots of climbing, and she loves to cruise against furniture and walls. Loves it so much she would get up in the middle of the sleep to speed crawl then try climbing the wall. Haha

Daycare drop off

Today, well into 7 months of daycare, Natalie cried at daycare drip off.  She clung onto me, shook her head no to Jaime, silently transferred in shock, then legit sobbed when she realized I wasn't taking her back.

We are still struggling giving her the antibiotics.

Good thing it's once a day, so she& james can sleep in the morning.

But she's been having diarrhea, yesterday explosive & a couple small ones.  This morning twice already.  The diaper changes happen immediately after but the redness is there. 

I know she's having a tough time, for the past month.  From an ear infection, to high fevers and runny nose, then that horrid rash, to another ear infection, and now a runny nose with cough.  As exhausting it is as a parent, it's nothing compared to what this little body is going through. 

Mother's Day

Now that I have been a mother for a year, I now understand the general sentiment towards Mother's Day. And what we collectively prefer..

To sleep in late, in peace. That means, other family members out of earshot doing nothing worrisome

A nice quiet meal, preferably not at a busy loud restaurant. 

But it also means, anything that happens can quickly overshadow today being Mother's Day

For me, it's Natalie having diarrhea 

In bliss

K, I had a petty rough week but it's over.  Finally off work, Natalie's rash and fevers are gone, James is back home, &took me to watch captain America, have CFA & blue bottle coffee, then came home to a delivery of a giant tulip.. & the best part? Natalie is napping on my chest. Snoring softly & baby smiles(like the ones she had as a squish)

It's already a wonderfully sweet & happy Mother's Day weekend.

Ear infection, round 2

K, Natalie's rash is mostly gone but the ear infection is back , & actually worse:( we started another antibiotic 

This sickness thing is getting old

And then there was rash

First thought of roseola, but the timing..
Totally MMR delayed reaction
Fever right at almost-9 days post vaccines, then rash discovered 11th day

Wrap nap

Need to be getting ready for a wedding

But wrap nap is more important for a feverish baby

She spikes 103.6 overnight :(

--

And she's snoring

Honestly don't know how I would have survived without wrapping 

First chocolate

Liked the chocolate syrup

But then.. Not mixed with the amoxicillin 

Update, this 3rd bottle.. I made sure it's a different manufacturer.  She takes it a bit better, not sure if it's the taste or just the realization that this is happening twice a day regardless of her putting up the fight. The crying, shrieking & refusal is the same but it takes me 7ml to give 5ml, instead of the previous 15-20 ml haha

The mixing wth chocolate syrup, or icecream a didn't work 

Who was I kidding,I knew i couldn't trick her 

Spoon full of sugar..

Makes the medicine go down. Right?

I picked up quite a stash.. Chocolate syrup, mango sorbet, strawberry ice cream, some caramel.
Let's really hope it works

It's been a huge struggle giving her the antibiotics. Cup, dropper, spoon, nothing works. We are force feeding with an oral syringe & went through the prescribed bottle in a couple days.  It's supposed to last 10 days!  She spits/ gurgles/ coughs everything out.  She's gotten quite good at crying and blowing raspberries simultaneously.  Sometimes it doesn't sit well, and you can hear her stomach just tossing & turning.  Actually, she has even vomited it all out.  Then we have to repeat the entire process.  Luckily, used my pharmacist hookup to score me another bottle to hold me over until today, but it was less concentrated and we had to give 40% more.  Both Natalie & i are in tears after the whole ordeal.  James is so upset, since he's the one holding her, pinning her arms & legs down.  To top it off, she's been having diarrhea since yesterday.

We went in this morning, her ear has improved and the pediatrician wrote me another bottle.  She's sleeping so happily, rolled onto James's pillow and making cute baby snores.  Breaks my heart that once she's awake, we are going to have to give her this medicine again.

Ear wax and ear infection

Today was the 12 month Doctor visit.  It's nice to track hr growth, her weight 10.5 kg, length 30 inches, but it came with 3 painful shots. 

What was unexpected was the giant globs of ear wax & the underlying right ear infection.  Natalie has always been grabbing and scratching her ears since she a few month old, but her ears would be clear.  Not even ear wax.  but a couple nights ago, i noticed it picked up again where her scratches became recurring scabs.  No fevers, no fussiness, and actually.. Grandma and grandpa have been quite vocal about how extra happy Natalie was.

I'm just bracing myself, I know it's going to be tough giving her the antibiotics.

Love my husband

Here I am, laying in bed & dozing off to the lull of the dryer and Sam smith 

I would hear my husband humming along every few minutes and my little daughter also aye-aye-eh-eh. 

Just warms my heart 

She must be close to sleep, now I hear my husband singing

Na-lee, yaa yaa yaaa, Na-lee-lee-ya Natalie Na-lee-ya

The lullaby we sing to her every night 

First ice cream

We've given her a taste of IKEA's soft serve a couple months ago

But today was the official ice cream, delicious sea salt ice cream from Salt & Straw. She loved it 

Pick my nose

esterday she discovered her nostril, intentionally sticking her little pointer finger in there. Today it's been more consistent, and also explores mommy's nostrils

Whole milk

Last week, I picked up a carton of horizons organic whole milk , with the intention of transitioning Natalie.  Exactly how, without ever supplementing with formula, I was lost & had no plan

On 4/12, when Natalie was 1 day into 1 year, she came back from daycare with a 1.5 oz bottle.  I mixed in 1 oz of whole milk & hoped for the best. She refused it, took a nap on daddy, & when she woke up..

I hid, James tried again, and surprisingly she finished it.  When I came out to celebrate, she wanted to nurse & that's our first experience.  

So past 2 days, I've been mixing 4 oz of mommy's milk with 1 oz of whole milk.  She's been finishing all the bottles.  Today, I just mixed 3 oz with 2 oz, & hoping for the best.  My pump supply has been consistently low, & we literally have just 1 frozen.  So this transition is not only working out with the timing of Natalie's birthday, but also what my body is telling us.  

I still nurse at 8pm, later at night, & if that's skipped once while sleeping, then 4th session early morning.  We will slowly be cutting those out, but for now it is what it is 

Happy FIRST Birthday

to my dearest daughter,
You have shown me love, and how to love.
Happy first birthday.
Your mommy

Dohl party

In preparation, i took up the big project of making Dohl goim towers, these decorative hot glued bean  madness.  They turned out amazing, even better than I hoped for.  And ultimately "made" the birthday table.

Natalie wore her satin fluffy pink dress with sass, then later changed into her hanbok (the traditional Korean dress) and it ruined her day.  She automatically became angry, fussy, and only mommy could hold her

53 Weeks

Last weekly update before the big ONE!
Trying to get all the stats for her birthday sign (decided on a chalkboard) & here goes
30 inches tall (possibly 31?)
23 pounds
8 teeth
I can.. clap & crawl
& say.. Umma, appa, uh oh, buh bye,  no no
Favorit foods are udon & avocado

Current words

Not too many but they are

1. umma, Korean for mom, mostly cried out when she's upset

2. appba, Korean for dad, also a favorite sound so she'll say it while playing

3. baba, her version of bye bye usually coupled with waving. 

4. Uhoh-t, she adds this "t" sound afterwards haha. She says it usually when dropping something intentionally but also randomly throughout the day. 

All other words have come & go, so I'm not too sure they were really words to start off with. Oh!  She makes this "eh" sound in the parking garage, we realized its to hear the echo. So I'll always say "echo" when I know it would, & she'd try to say "eh-to"

She only signs "milk"

Which we did & say "yummy yummy" since.. 2-3 months old? I know she understood at 5-6 months, & signed back / someone's saying "mam Mam Mam" since 6-7 months? Never consistently though. Usually smiles & claps if we sign "milk" & we still say "yummy yummy"

Natalie can get chatty, but it's random baby noises. James seems to pick up on them & tell me that this or that sound is new/ her current favorite/ etc

Current nighttime sleep

Sadly, in the never STTN boat. Here's our nightly schedule (on a good night)

Best case scenario is going to bed by 9/930

1. Wakes up at MN, I'll hold/ sing her back to sleep

2. she wakes up at 2am,  I'll nurse then James will hold/ sing her back to sleep 

3. Wakes at 4am, I'll hold/ sings her back to sleep

4. Wakes at 6am, I'll nurse (1/2 the time I'll leave for work)

& up for the day after 830

& this is me trying so hard to cut down night nursing. Also, sleep training with crying NOT an option before 2am (James is on conference calls)

& then with James Having to sleep from 2am to 6/8am so he can function the following day, it's all on me. & I just don't have the strength & grit to sleep train myself 

So crazy as it sounds, this^^ is working for us. Some nights are so so tough that when it plays out with 4 wakes, I'm functional the following day

52 weeks

Past week was horrendous with nightly temps coupled with our fifth road trip, honestly I don't know what i was thinking

But it gave us some good family time,
And today?
Natalie said Bbobbo (Korean for kiss)

It all doesn't matter

Today's my birthday

Even more important, it's Easter

But honestly, it's all not mattering 

Because Natalie started getting feverish and last check 102.7 

On high dose rectal Tylenol, and every 2 hour checks

actually right now is super brutal 

She's clinging onto James right now crying & screaming , as she slows to a son you can hear that he's softly singing her lullaby and patting her back

It breaks my heart, his love for her 

I am going to cry on my drive to work

51 Weeks

another weekend I work, I try to think of it as a sweet daddy daughter weekend for Natalie.  Today, they slept in, then got a car wash, then car tint, a stroll to whole foods for Natalie to enjoy an avocado al fresco & then a restaurant date, ended hanging out in a grass field watching s local soccer game. Oh and then a nap.  Can't get any better, honestly, huh?

I'm just a wee bit jealous, my days home, which were meant to be mommy daughter days ended up me just being bed ridden with mastitis fever & chills.. Not even half as fun. HAhh

As Natalie ends her first year,

And again..

Road to weaning has come to a screeching halt. With the little family road trip next week, the logistics of transitioning to whole milk might just take up all our cargo space, and oh! Just got a blocked duct, starting off with extreme soreness yesterday night. It developed into full on hot painful swelling, accompanied with headache fever chills and unending body aches. Sigh., I guess a good excuse to lay low for my 2 days off & continually pimp to re-build a small frozen stash.
Someone hug me

Happy Birthday, Husband

Officially mid thirties, & not to shabby.
Clocking in an average of 80-90+ hour workweeks, we planned this  day much in advance to just take it off.  Off from work, off from life, even off from not-so-little Natalie.  Ended up watching deadpool, an older movie  since the fan favorite big new release of batman vs superman is this coming weekend.  We really basked in the reclining chairs and food service.  Then had a legit sushi lunch on Sawtelle.  It almost felt like my birthday, cuz I ended up napping right past Natalie's pickup & the birthday boy ran around finishing up some errands.

As simple as it was, it might have just been one of the best little celebrations.  I mean, a baby holding balloons just can't be beat

50 weeks

Her favorite words just might be a tie between
Uh oh, coupled with dropping a toy
And Nono

Chatty, completely mobile, and had become quite an Eater.  Of course udon noodles, but really upping the avocado game

Mission impossible: sleeping

First two months, feeding every 2 hours so that meant.. Yea..

At 3 months, We tried to instill some sleep patterns but she was so accustomed to wake ups, it really didn't happen 

Natalie has 4 month sleep regression

All 5 month was teething

Day before 6 month appt her bottom 2 broke through

And then 6-9 month was being sick nonstop!! 

Then 9-10 month sleep regression, not as bad but she would sleep crawl etc

Just turned 11 months & we got hit with daylight savings change. Ugh 

And yea.. Never got a break

49 weeks

I work this weekend but so excited to have a family lunch date at our favorite udon shop on Sunday

Natalie's favorite food is absolutely udon noddles. She gets excited even seeing a photo of udon! 

11 months

Today, is Natalie's last month before entering toddlerhood.  She spent the entire day with me, & currently sleeping on my belly.

It also happens to be my boss' last day at work so I swung by (with Natalie) to say goodbye.  She's been someone quite special to me, always giving me opportunities (pediatric satellite, piloting the clinical pharmacist in emergency department, medication reconciliation, reasmission project, transitional/ discharge.. Wow, just listing it clearly reminds me of how I've been really able to have a fulfilling career underneath her) & really scheduled me so I can enjoy my personal life.  She's more than a boss, I'd say an older sister

So it's quite bittersweet

Natalie has a great time visiting & getting an outpouring of love by everyone.  Unfortunately, the drive home was brutal. With the rain starting & being Friday, it took 50 minutes and she cried the e tire drive.

Once I parked the car, I held her until she was no longer sobbing, bundled her into my ring sling (using the tail to shield her from the rain) and within 3 minutes at home, she was fast asleep

Happy 11 my little love

Sick baby

I thought we were out of the nonstop runny nose & fevers

Apparently it's back, & poor baby is sick with the C-cold. Congestion & cough

She's staying home from school since Saturday, weekends with parents then Monday with grandparents & today with me. Last night was horrid, but managed to have Natalie sleep almost non stop

The coughs have been strong that she would poop a nugget or two each time

& nap times are trough. Just took me an hour to get her asleep, wrapped too 

Hope this is over before we know it 

48 weeks

And now she's standing!

And significantly better & much more interested at taking solids. 

Favorite food

Today, James brought Natalie to meet me for at our favorite udon shop in Little Tokyo. After ordering, we sat down & I was holding Natalie when she got excited.  Clapping her hands and squealing. It looked as though she was looking at the huge wall framed photo of udon noodles.  And I turned, and she turned towards the photo. When I brought her closer, she threw her little hands on it and squeeled. It's official, udon noodles are her most absolute favorite food!

Fussy nights

10 &1/2 months and guess what?! Bottom right side tooth broke through

So that explains the crazy fussy nights. Especially last night, waking up screaming & practically inconsolable 

Total teeth count, seven! 

47 weeks

I've been wanting some "baby bonding" time, and with daycare closed this past week, I got it. So minus Thursday, baby and I have been inseparable & it's been great 

I'm so happy 

Home & Sick

Had a rough couple nights, fussy & clinging baby. No rectal temps 

now I understand why, Natalie was sick! 

I just came down with it, hit me hard as I was ending my work day yesterday.  Nausea /upset tummy / subjective fever / very objective chills & body aches.. when James finally took over baby duty at 2:30 am, my body must have reached its max

I threw up everything , worse than my most drunk night.  yuck!

46 Weeks

shes sleeping on me snoring deeply, soothing & sounding like a purring cat
Today, we had a nice time hosting a get together, for my SC girls, andppoô their kids all came over,  husband  picked up CCC (California chicken cafe)

Blowing Raspberries

Off and on, she's blown raspberries

But the past couple days, shes really into it. 

45 weeks

Just came & went 

She's just starting to become her own person 

Curious, happy, laid back & a little goofy. Loves to play, and does so independently. She started to crawl over and nuzzle us when she's tired. Still waves pageant style, and demurely says "bah bah" usually after the person is gone 

Love her 

Valentine's Day

Growing up, my memory of Valentine's Day was never a Romantic holiday. It was more a friendship day, passing out little cards and grams to classmates. 

Well, it's back to the beginning

Little goodie bags, thanks to a Facebool mom group pointing me towards some of these target goodies

Holographic Sticker gram, bubbles, window clings, organic gummy bears, & a cure love bug sticker tucked into these raccoon bags found in the dollar section , 

Happy 10 Months

Natalie has been sleeping since 7 pm

What started as a wrap nap ended up 1.5 hours on me, then 30 mins on my lap, 30 mins on James, and now 30+ mins by herself on the bed

I am shocked 

Maybe a little gift to celebrate her 10 months birthday

But j hope this is a new common thing!

Too good to be true.

After back to back sickness & teething, it finally felt like we had a break. 

Until, I received an email that Saturday's blood test results were posted. The CBC is posted & Everything looks normal.. Well minus the platelets

724

Normal range is 143-398 x 10E3/uL

My heart dropped

It felt like I was told she has a malignancy

Really hoping a it's a benign increase, il even go for inflammation or a iron deficiency. Folic acid deficiency

Please tell me everything is fine 

44 weeks

Last days as a 9 month old, and really hit a lot of her developmental milestones.  Clapping, pulling herself up and scooting around, deliberate crawling, very communicative and new chatty sounds (like gagaaa).. Her favorite still is waving hello & goodbye. She says "babaaa" while waving. So cute

Today, we went to the Ucla campus having to get Natalie's blood drawn. Had a nice little time, parked and picked up a boba drink. Hung out in the waiting room (all by our lonesome selves), then got the cute ocean muraled room & cartoons were turned out.  Everything went well, until of course the needle stick 

James has her in a bear hold, and 2 plebotomists worked on Natalie for 3 large vials of blood. The first try didn't stick, so after hot packing her elbows they worked on the other arm with a smaller needle. It was agony

Natalie is a trooper, her mood was dampened but after me carrying her around the village, then on daddy's lap for lunch, her mood returned to happy chatty for the car ride to ikea.

Of course today, when we needed it the most, we had no stroller and no baby carrier

Happy 44! 

43 Weeks

Another weekend I'm working, wishing so badly I was home snuggling my not-so-little baby.  

She seems to be hitting all her milestones at once, 

Waving and clapping, pulling up and standing, getting much better with eating finger foods, her chatty babble picked up some new sounds, & she loves her playtime.  

6th Tooth (finally)

Just checked

& the sixth tooth (the other "two front teeth") broke through

The count is six!

You'll Always Be My First

You'll Always Be My First

by Amy Wruble Jan 28 2016 

 

The following post was originally featured on Carriage Before Marriage 

Dear Daughter,

"You're my favorite person in the whole world" is not something you're going to hear me say anymore. Not only is it unfair to Daddy, but it really won't go over well with your baby sister, once she's born and learns to talk. For now, though, it's hard not to keep thinking it.

You, you, you. You're the one who burst my heart wide open. You taught me what wild, uncontrollable, unlimited, unconditional love feels like. You changed everything. You turned me into a mom.

And even though you will no longer be my only child, or even my only girl, you will always be my first.

You're the first one to make me forget myself. You're the first person I ever said "I love you" to more than 10 times in one day. You're the first human whose temperature I took, whose nose I wiped, and whose projectile vomit I was too tired to clean up and just sort of slept in.

With you, I made my first-time mom mistakes, like letting you roll off the bed onto the floor. Who knew you could roll? Thank you for not getting hurt and also for not holding a grudge.

Our baby's coming soon, and while you may not be my only child anymore, you'll probably be the only kid who knows what it's like to have my undivided attention. Because how do I ever stop myself from thinking about you?

This realization gives me the guilts, but then again, your sister will have some advantages. I can't imagine she will ever be bored or lonely for long — not with you and your unlimited repertoire of songs, dance moves, costumes, and magic tricks. I can't wait to watch her watching you.

You. You were my first newborn, infant, toddler, and preschooler, and the one who continues to surprise me every day. You're the intrepid explorer who pulls me by the hand into the future. You're in all my thoughts and dreams, and every wish I make upon a star.

So when you're feeling frustrated that I'm nursing your sister instead of playing dress-up, or that I might use stern words with you, but not her (she's just a baby), or that I can't stop talking about how cute she is (I like infants the way you like ponies), know that there is more than enough love for both of you, because of the ever-expanding place in my heart that you made.

You, you, you. You will always be my first.

Baby carriers

I've amassed quite an embarrassingly extensive stash of baby carriers.  James has his one ergo 360 that he uses almost daily

But it got me to thinking, what I'd recommend a new or expecting mom.  

I used a stretchy wrap (ktan for me, maybe next one a cute Solly) in the beginning

Only when she was bigger, I alternate between the soft structured carrier & ring sling, both Tula brand.  For the Tula, Didn't like Having to use a blanket to get a deep seat (hassle, another item that'll fall on the ground), how it was bulky, & baby never had a good view.  But great for longer walks. I do Love how the RS folds up tiny. It was convenient especially if I pre-thread it.  For baby and me, it worked best for short ups. And still does, Especially from car to front door.  Anytime, I need arms to carry the stuff I bought.

But then at one point, maybe right at 4 months, I ventured into the world of we wrapping.  It's versatile, beautiful, and of course an expensive hobby.  Other than lending out a wrap, not something I'd recommend. Just from the coat perspective 

Pulling up

1/22

Getting better at pulling herself up.

First on daddy, then her toys. & just today she pulled herself up on the crib

Time to lower it 

First cookie

Today, she had her first cookie

A Girl Scout cookie, none the less

Was so happy clutching onto it, waving it in the arm. Maybe a good 20 minutes of gnawing, she ate a little piece and celebrated afterwards 

MOTY Award

Mother of the Year here,
This morning, Natalie crawled off our bed.  I heard a thud, and I knew. I just knew. It wasn't even a second later, and I saw her laying there. She wasn't moving, she wasn't crying.  I picked her up screaming.  So loud, James rushed out of his morning shower.  He came out horrified, that look in his eyes.  He knew what happened as I was crying and holding her.  At that point, she was crying.  She and I sobbed together, and in that moment I knew my life would end if anything happened to her.

Well, I spent all day in misery.  Just replaying the fall.  Almost felt like snapshots, of stories other moms speak of. So unreal.  Yet, it happened this morning

And it happened couple months ago, James found Natalie playing with the humidifier.  Which is on the ground.  From that incident, we took precautions.  It's not enough

Time to be stern and use the crib

Unless,.. I set up our travel crib at the foot of our bed
And place Natalie there, and she's continue to sleeping peacefully.  Her sweet rhymetic breathing, iiiiin out pause iiiiin out pause,..

I am so happy right now, in this moment

42 weeks

We really see her personality developing

Easy going, curious, with a lot of spunk and some mischievous streak. Total 까불쟁히 Ggabool Ggabool

Her interest in solids are not quite there, but randomly she'd slurp up an entire pouch. Her happiness with an orange wedge led to me buying some. But unfortunately the ones from Ralph's were too sour. 

At this point her bottom tooth teeth are quite pronounced, like reverse bugs bunny. Three of the top four have broken through, with teething pain quite real. Especially at night, she'd wake in pain. Sob sob sob 

Sick & Teething

1/22

Never ending, temped 103.8

Luckily we had a stash of Tylenol suppositories

41 weeks

maybe my last weekly checkin?

Not that I was consistent with it, but it was nice to take a second to jot down what's happening 

Today, I thought maybe I can write down her schedules

Feeding (Milkies)

7 times , maybe more

BFing

1. before bedtime 

2&3. Twice MOTN, once when I go to sleep & another when James sleeps. Trying to cut this down, but then we end up awake. Sigh,.. Then sometimes we got a nice 4 am feed

4. early AM, usually 530/6 before I go to work

Then Bottles/or BF if I'm home 

5. before lunch

6. after lunch

7. evening

Sleep

I also control wake up by 6am, if she doesn't already wake independently. & it's really so I can squeeze in a feed & then rock her back to sleep before heading out to work. It helps that she sleeps in until 8/830 for James to get ready for work.

Now, she konks out so easily for this early morning nap.

& latest bedtime being 10/1030, anytime before we don't try "too" hard. Thinking 10 hours of night sleep is good

That helps create a routine..?  We've tried to change the times, but this really works with our schedules

Natalie gets total 3 hours of daytime +evening naps. If she does 2+ hours on her first nap, she ends up staying up longer & only sleeping maybe 30 mins if lucky. So I actually wake her up on her first nap :(:( but never on her 2nd or 3rd( if there is a 3rd) to set the tone of the day

Last X-rays

Today is Natalie's X-ray & orthopedic appointment, I am nervous. I think Natalie somehow senses my anxiety cuz she hasn't been able to sleep well all night. Kept waking if I'm not standing & holding her. We ended up on the floor, with her deliriously playing (toys, play gym) since 4 am

GREAT NEWS- Natalie has beautiful NOrmal hips
All confirmed by X-ray & physical exam
Yay yay yay

Chatty

I have a chatty baby, but it's more like.. A parrot
Tries to mimic but honestly i doubt she knows what she's saying
Well except,
Her good mood talk is.. ddddaaadadada & ap pa pa pa pa , both meaning daddy
& her crank face whining is... Ummmmm maaaa umma umma , meaning mommy in Korean, haha

9 Months

The days of just us two, baby & me, have dwindled to a rare few.  So today, I relish my lone time with my daughter on her 9 months

Waking in the same bed

The changing of a heavy overnight diaper

Some morning play, where toys were soon forgotten at the discover of a ziploc full of Korean sheet masks 

Breakfast of fruit purees 

Little more fun, including some iPad screen time 

Nursing

Then wrapped up for a stroll in the neighborhood 

We got home, gave her a fresh diaper, and rocked her to sleep

As I lay here, with my sleeping daughter dreaming on top of me, I feel so blessed. This moment, this time I have with her, I am so grateful

--

Got back from Chickfila (& apparently the last day they serve Cole slaw)
She's playing and grunting appa over and over and over
And waving different toys hahaha
She's super happy, now Rolling around and screaming appa
Then she got stuck, & started whining
And crying out ummmmmmaaa

40 weeks

40 weeks out

She's been here in my arms, as long as she's been in my belly

Third Tooth

Just saw, then confirmed by my touch, the third tooth!  Her top right, and just peeking through looks like a tiny shark tooth.  Too cute

So first two as she turned six months
Then the third right before the ninth.

39 Weeks

Still sick..
Runny nose, cough, randomly low grade fevers.

When will this end?