Happy News

Never been so nervous..

Waiting at the pediatrician office for baby's 3rd weight check post discharge 

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!! UPDATE !!

1. WEIGHT 

Natalie is now 6 lb 10 oz, almost birth weight of 6 lb 11 oz but more importantly.. 

SHE GAINED 1 oz/ day SINCE MONDAY APPOINTMENT, & when the pediatrician saw how much / often she's been feeding.. No more weight check visits. Next visit to pediatrician will be for her vaccinations 

2. HIP DYSPLASIA

Already has improved with 2 days of the harness.  Orthopedic surgeon is aware of her case & recommends the harness 23-24hours/ day until he sees her in 2 weeks.  From there, she might be off it, OR possible continue until her ultrasound. Speaking of which, ortho doesn't see the 3.5 week ultrasound necessary & it'll be rescheduled to the usual 6 weeks.  

I'm ecstatic that the pediatrician can feel/ hear the improvement!! 

& yes I'm pumping

Amazon hands free bra is awesome!

Harnessed

Today, after coming home with a Pavlik harness. She cried and I couldn't  comfort her the Usual way.  My holding her in my arms was no longer comfortable, so I laid her on my belly and sobbed uncontrollably

Never felt so much defeat sadness and sense of failure.  I felt handicapped 

In that moment, my baby Natalie stopped crying. She looked towards me, & as I saw her beautiful eyes.. I just cried so much more for the love I feel for her

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Day 10 started off great.  I embraced the new feedings, and took pumping with a frevor.  My chapped hands and broken nails are a testament to my determination to clean everything sterile & perfect.  I log each session each bottle, planned my waking & sleeping moment around pumping & feeding.  In exchange, Natalie expends less energy in feeding & sleeps better. Her dirty diapers have increased, even despite my almost nill left boob.  I even was able to pump an extra bottle (albeit only 0.4 oz) that came in handy at the harness fitting 

Natalie's extra sleep gave me the opportunity to make phone calls.  Now we have an orthopedic appt, & was in the works of getting that Pavlik harness.  Last minute, we were able to be seen at Santa Monica. Sweet daddy met us there

Unfortunately, the therapist? Technician? Was a complete.. Idiot. He fumbled with everything, didn't have any information or advice, & his "fitting" was just an attempt to make her look like the photo in the instruction handout.  & even then, the chest piece was inappropriately placed 'a date pas were dangling everywhere.  What a frustrating experience, 

But luckily, daddy fixed everything at home. 

Today, James really fixed everything. I love him so much, & I can't wait to see how much Natalie will love her daddy.

Love

As I hold my little baby daughter in my arms, I just feel so overwhelmed by a love I've never felt before. It fills me, so full that it has nowhere to go but burst.  In tears.  These tears are of love, gratitude, and joy.

This teeny snoring baby that sighs and grunts and smirks and frowns, hiccups too.  All in her sleep, in my arms just now. And entire life of emotions in just one dream

then just bursts into

I succumbed

Gave her a paci

Happy ONE Week

Like goldfish in a bowl, we are stuck with each other.. Forever

Bursting with love for you, would never have it any other way 

Postpartum Tears

I burst into tears, as my husband held my hand in bed.
after a long day of focusing only on little Nari

I felt a rush of support, immense gratitude, happiness and love

Newborn Photoshoot- Part 2

Picking out the photos for the collection (full edit), and gallery (quick edit)
So tough cuz (biased statement coming) little Nari is too cute in every photo