I believe

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles" -Audrey Hepburn

Budgeting a Wedding

Before I even start, here's a bit of background.

"On average, US couples spend $26,542 for their wedding. However, the majority of couples spend between $19,907 and $33,178. This does not include cost for a honeymoon or engagement ring." per Costofwedding

That's a lot of money.. For one day. Important enough, and once in a lifetime.. But still!! Am I the only person numbed with sticker shock?

I gotta say, we make much above the national average in regards to salary. However, we are far from spending above this national average in wedding cost. Of course, there will be aspects of this wedding where we will splurge (I'm thinking food, and the venue) but I'll have to keep this average in mind and give myself restrictions. I have too many friends that went on a spending frenzy as a bride.

So.. Fiancé made a great plan. Any money saved up to our engagement date will not be touched. That's for our future.. Downpayment for the house, furniture, trips. Whatever we can manage to save from now on will be the defining factor for our wedding. Let's see if we can do this:)

Meet & greet

Korean tradition dictates that a formal engagement party be celebrated to introduce the two families together. Often held at fancy hotel banquet halls, white gloved courses are served, and the kicker.. multiple gifts are presented to each family member. $1000 cash for each sibling to purchase clothes for the wedding, more cash for the parents and grandparents, rolex for the groom, clothes and jewelry for the bride.. Final cost ranges from $30,000 to $100,000!!

Of course, we are not partaking in this tradition. But, wondering if we should do something on a lower scale. Just a simple dinner, so everyone can put a face to the name. Especially since none of our family members have met eachother (Minus one occasion where my brother met fiancé's brother). I mean, we've met each others family. But having both families get together.. Thinking the upcoming holidays will be a good opportunity to host such a gathering.

Embracing religion

A wedding truly is a testament to which religious belief you affiliate with. At the start of this wedding planning process, I didn't realize how Catholic I am. Even considering venues, I was focusing on a site that allowed for a convenient combination of ceremony and reception. Who was to marry us, if there were any pre-marriage education to be done, if it would be recognized by the Catholic church, if Mass must be involved.. all of those questions really did not maturate. It really wasn't until I saw a space I thought a ceremony set up would interrupt the reception, then realizing the mother church of all Catholic churches in LA was right at its front door.. The gears starting to turn.

Just a week later, we are pretty firm on having a religious ceremony at a Catholic space. If the Cathedral can not accomodate our date, we will find another church. It's just one day, but it is a meaninful day. He and I will become one. The ultra convenience of one space servicing both purposes has been put aside to cultivate our shared interest in becoming married under God, with Jesus.

No no to Hoedown

How awesome would a wedding be with self serve buckets of ice cold imported beer

Then the unlimited great Bar-be-cue, aka catering from Woodranch. ooh, those garlic rolls

Dancing under the stars.  Not happening in LA's smog, so with the help of strung up lights

And the most wonderful night munchie, an In'n'out truck rolls in!! Or maybe King Taco to make it more "us"

.. And then I imagined my parents horror and grandparents confusion. Sigh.., outdoor rustic barn theme is just Not gonna happen

Picking the Date

How do people go about this?
I know some people like the look of numbers, especially 7/7/07.. And actually, I have a friend getting married on 11/11/11, yupp! National Pepero day, hehe. Others seem to dream of a summer wedding for various reasons.. lush flowers, outdoor receptions under bumblebee lights, supposedly the wonderful California weather. But honestly, I'm avoiding the summer in fear of heat strokes and being a sweaty mess under the gown. And the men in tux! Also seems like April and November are popular months, for a non-season wedding discount.

At my rate right now, it seems as though we'd be picking on availability.

so so in Love

Lalala~

It's my blog, I can gloat of I'd like

Booked!!

Ooh I'm kidding, we are far from

But seriously,
What's going on?

- A top contender is booked every Saturday and Sunday till October 2012, and that'll be a Sunday availability
- Another possibility has 1 Saturday and 1 Sunday available. We put a soft hold on the Saturday pending a tour. Even before we get a chance to check it out.. do we want to put a deposit? There's another couple interested.. And *poof* it's gone. The Sunday, too
- Here's a place that has a Saturday that opened up, the catch? It's in 3 months
- Actually, another has some availability on a discount.. Want a Christmas wedding?
- Wow! This place has a couple Saturday open.. Whoops day before Easter
I did notice many sites had the Saturday before Mother's day, but I dont want a flowerless wedding

Is this the reason why most couples have a 1+ year engagement?

Being KoAm

Getting a bit ahead of myself, but there are elements of my Korean culture I'd like to include in my wedding..
1. Dress the mothers in HanBok, traditional Korean silk gowns.
2. Stationary appetizer station during cocktail hour, featuring traditional rice cakes (signifies long healthy life together, good fortune) & other munchies
3. Pae-Baek ceremony, the traditional Korean ceremony of where the bride and groom celebrate family union. The couple gets dressed in the ceremonial HanBok and bow to family, perform a short tea (or rice wine) ceremony towards family elders, and accept wishes, advice, or wisdom regarding the future. I think it's cute when the couple attempts to catch all the dates and chestnuts thrown at them with the brides apron. Later, the couple gets to eat the ones they've caught.  I think dates symbolized daughters, and chestnuts sons. It used to be something the grooms family set up, correlating with the bride entering his family. No longer the case now. For me, It's colorful, a great change in pace, and wonderful photo opp.
.. My favorite is when the groom piggy backs the bride around the ceremonial space, then her mother to show thanks, and then his own mother.

No ring, no bring

Totally realizing that the biggest factor in wedding budget is the size of the guest list. It determines everything!! First of all, My being over 120 shut down a couple of my fore runners. Then there is the price attached per head.. Food, drinks, cake, parking, rentals, and so many more per person fee I can't keep track of!

Honestly, simplest way to trim that guest list..
No bling no bring. No ring no bring.

Yupp! Unless there's a hunkamunka diamond on her hand, or a copy of a marriage certificate, no plus ones at my wedding. Why does my special day have to accommodate you being sensitive about your single status. How does my paying for your guest (that you scrimmage up just to keep you company) have anything to do with me wanting you to enjoy your time. So really, cut out someone I know to have you bring a stranger? Does anyone else think the same?

Funny thing, read on theknot.com that "If asked why you're not allowing single friends to bring guests, size constraints or your parents' never-ending guest list are always good fallback white lies." .. Psh, not gonna be white lies for me. I'm having huge size constraints.

 Goodbye dream wedding venue .

Black & white

Bride V's favorite colors were.. None. She just stuck with the non colors, aka black & white. So it was a very easy choice to have a black & white wedding. A perfect fit that led her to a gorgeous Chanel inspired 5 (or was it 7??) tier cake, that inspired every other aspect of her production of a wedding. Without her requesting it, we knew to throw her a black & white bridal shower today. She's such a consistent girl, that all her gifts were wrapped in black, silver, and white. The rehearsal bouquet I made with all the tissue & ribbons will match her wedding! Will match her!

Interestingly enough, I've found that black and white is a very popular choice. This is really from my limited exposure to wedding via browsing randomly for possible venues. But is that a trend? Or are modern brides just not the frilly flowery as our older counterparts? Easter is out, huh?

Growing up

Remember.. those wishful thoughts of "when I grow up.."?? Mine had a lot to do with eating ice-cream at every meal and having 10 dogs to play with. Turns out, growing up has nothing to do those whimsical daydreams. It's more about surviving the world, and.. I'm even further from that thrice daily ice-cream diet and frolicking with puppies.

But, I got to say.. There's a part of growing up that trumps it all. And its falling absolutely incredibly in love. Then knowing you have a "together" to embark in that lifelong journey.

When's the wedding?

Do most people have a wedding date within the first month of being engaged? I've been asked when the wedding is, where the wedding is, what my dream wedding is.. Honestly, I have no answer

The past couple days, I've been asking friends and snooping around Herecomestheguide.com. I even signed up for a couple other wedding websites. It's madness out there!

All the available resources makes it even more tough to decide.  I think a venue 's popularity pretty much guarantees that they have booked all their Saturday evenings in 2012.  I'll just end up getting married on the day at a site that simply has an availability.  Sigh..

Be-FIT-ing Bride

I've cushioned up during my binge-on-ice-cream-cuz-it's-summer, and actually can not fit into my bridesmaid dress. Quite worrisome, since I'm the maid-of-honor at a 11/11/11 wedding. That's right around the corner! So, I've been doing some regular cardio, to see if I can squeeze into my pre-summer size.

Funny thing, people now are complimenting my early start on my bridal excise regimen. I am hearing encouragement to keep my exercise consistent, and to start a diet.  I've never dieted in my life, and I'm unsure if one day of my life is reason enough to do such. Fitting into the bridesmaid dress has now become a prequel to my own journey in being a presentable in the very unflattering white dress. Exactly how am I supposed to look, to be that blushing bride? How thin? Do I really have to live off oatmeal and salads? Help?!

Home Sweet Where?

It's been a weekend routine, to check out homes for sale.  I'd say it's been going on for the past couple months.  In the beginning, just trying to figure out what little pocket of Los Angeles is really us.  Now, it's been open houses & showing.

We've managed to create a budget, narrow down the neighborhood, and understand eachother's wishlist.

Let the fun begin

Apothecary

My "wedding style" just happens to be my job, haha!

define: apothecary
a person who studies the art and science of mixing medicines;
also known as a pharmacist.

Perfectly me,
I love mix matched that comes together. Old aged wood, clean lines. Flouncey dressed bed, stiff cornered pillows. Throw on a fancy Hermes bracelet while wearing flannels and tattered jeans. Shoes my grandma would have worn in her 20s, purse my mom received in her 30s, same hairstyle I had in my teens. That's me, mix my art and science.

Paired Up

Totally dragging the topic of the bridal party out..
But does the bridal party have to be evened out?
Two of each, male and female.. like Noah's ark?

Since I have five best girlfriends, does my fiance have to choose the same number?

When he thinks of who he really wants to be standing next to him while he's getting married, he lists three.  Does he then have to (forcefully) choose two more?  Or, does it go back to me??  Do I narrow down my bridesmaids to match his?

How does this work?
Sorry, google.  This time I'm not even trying

First Place

Okay, now that i've chosen my bridesmaids (it was honestly a NO brainer)

the big question is..

Who will be my Maid of honor?

First google search result, a Blake Kritzberg says not to choose my maid of honor until reading the article's 7 tips..
1. Define what i really want
.. sorry, not going to happen anytime soon
2. Tell her what you really want
.. Since i don't have answer to tip 1..
3. It doesn't have to be family
.. o wow, thanks for the tip. i have no sister or cousin in the states
4. Pick someone local
.. 4 are local, 1 is not.  However, sometimes i see my long distance friend most often
5. Look at past performance
.. uhm, they all came through for me.  that's a true friend
6. Look at her life ahead
.. i'm no slave driver. i don't think i'll be demanding anything near the extent that it'll take away of personal time
7. Consider more than one Maid of Honor if you just can't decide
.. i think i'll have to go with 5 maid of honors. HAha

Thanks for NO help whatsoever, google!!
At this point of my life, I've created and maintained many female friendships that it is honestly impossible to say someone won first place and gets the gold medal. This is going to be a toughie, and may just be something I may become an un-traditionalist.

Maids and men

does anyone have a formula is choosing the maids for the occasion? The men?

actually, who said we gotta have them? 
I mean, ultimately.. it's that extra pizazz of the bridal party, makes the occasion that much more festive, and of course photos well.  For the wedding planning, it's nice to have the guaranteed help of the bridesmaids.  but does that friendship need the title?

No worries, I'm going with American tradition and having bridesmaids.  I'm not much of a wedding type of girl, so they'll be of great help

Details of the bling

How much do you share?
Any of the 4C's.. Cut, color, clarity, and the ominous carat

so much is now public information.. google, facebook, and even zillow will release the inner sneaky in you.  but does everything have to be?

you may compliment a friend's dress, but never ask the size.  you like her jewelry, and ask where she got it.  But you do followup with how much she paid for it?  i find it quite interesting that people just itching to know the carat weight (which doesn't necessarily define the size, i think the diameter is a better indicator) and of course, the price.

i'll be lying.. with i don't know.  but i absolutely love it!

Diamonds seal the deal

Engaged?
Let me see the bling!
Where's the ring?

Seems almost like the proposal is negligible if it wasn't for an engagement diamond.  Honestly, it's quite unnecessary.  Isn't his commitment to me for the rest of his life sufficient?  Him pouring his heart, only desiring a future with me?  Is it not real enough that he wants to marry me?  Does there have to be a material item to prove it all?

But maybe, i only feel that way since i received a gorgeous token of his love

Proposal Story

Every engaged couple has got to have one of these.
Flowers, fancy meals, candlelight, and scavenger hunts.  What else?   Hot air balloons, baseball stadiums, poems, and hidden photographers.

But what if it's as simple as he asked me?
We were having a great time, in a great city, and then he just asked.  No bent knee, no gushing tear.  Just him and me, in a happy moment

He proposed

& so it begins..
The happily ever after