& The Fever Strikes, Again

 sigh.. Natalie has a 101.6 rectal temp. At 1 AM of course 

Just gave her a dose of Tylenol. Time for every 2 hour checks again

We think it's teething

I can see the top teeth through her gums

She had a good 3.5-4 hours of sleep. Interrupted but still. 

I'm okay with her having some fun time with daddy before the next stretch of sleep.

& of course I'm battling coughing fits 

Crawling forward

Not sleeping

& instead doing what?

How about scooching around

And then..

Crawling forward

Yup! Crawling forward

Lofty Goals for 2016

I rarely do New Years goals, but about time I do! 

The husband is worried for my happiness.  That sometimes I seem so frustrated & I agree. Those sometimes are happening more often, and husband believes it mostly stems from the fact that  all my time is with Natalie (which I love) that I lost control of being myself.  What I can see is a disorderly home.  Makes me feel helpless everyday.  Also being able to craft/ decorate, my naps & just being me. We are starting off with sending Natalie to daycare 5 days a week, even on my day off she's going.  I mean we pay for it!  It'll give me time to nap, clean, & I'm sure a lot more

As for cleaning, I'm changing it up ..  5 weekday, breaking home into 5 areas- bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, living, stairs & by end of that day the designated area will be clean. If I work, then I'll tackle that area the day before/ after when I'm off.

As for baby weight, I'm less than 10 lbs from pre-pregnancy & I may or may not work on that depending on where I am after getting better.  I might have glossed over this somewhere but I've been doooowwwn with a crazy flu

38 weeks

It's been a month of nonstop sniffles, fevers, vomiting, coughing, & honestly sniffles sniffles sniffles. But here you are, a happy baby at 8.5 months.  So chatty, with discoveries of new sounds. Such a good car passenger, playing with toys and talking to Sherman the lion.  Also, great at waving hello & goodbye.  Actually, your hands just might be your favorite toy. So adorable seeing you do little twinkle motions and sometimes sign us yummy yummy!

Dear daughter

Despite society acceptance of the current sex culture, the prevailing wisdom that most moms still impart to their daughters is to wait before having sex.  Myself included.  & found this to to my heart strings as I'm experiencing the most love in my life by the biggest love of my life 

http://momlifenow.com/2014/11/09/crazy-hot-sex/

To my dear daughter,

As you grow, many boys will enter your years. They will speak words of love and passion, of wanting you–all of you.

Their sex will be lacking.

Believe me, dear girl, I know what crazy hot lovemaking is made of. Until the boy can assure you of the following, it is not true passion.

If he can patiently wait for over three years. From pregnant to nursing to pregnant to nursing, with your hormones fierce, and desire often dead. “Please, just let me sleep. I am so tired.” will be your common response. Until he can love you still, choose you still, it is not true passion.

If He can call you beautiful when even your feet are swollen from baby belly. Call you sexy when your legs run thick with varicose veins from the same. Call you perfect after your belly hangs loose with skin and your eyes deep with bags. Until he can still call you these things, it is not true passion.

You may throw things at him, yell words of hate and shame as you feel the hormones of post baby blues run deep. Until he can love you even deeper, piercing through the pain into your heart, it is not true passion.

He will go to work where there are other women, pretty women. Pretty women with no children and varicose free, high heeled legs. I know the way they toss their pretty little hair to and fro.

He will come home to you, your hair pulled back into the frizziest of buns, a baby on your hip, spit up down your arm. Until he can come home to you–you with no makeup–and express there is nothing as wonderful as seeing your face, it is not true passion.

You are touched by his love, and whisper tonight you will return the favor. Tonight there is a crying baby and a feverish toddler who just joined you in bed. Until he can laugh, fully laugh about this, it is not true passion.

Can a man like this exist? Yes, dear girl, and you call him your dad. He has shown me what true love is.

The hormones have faded. I am not pregnant. I am not nursing. My own passion has returned. Can I truly say “returned?” I really had no idea what passion was. So intense, so raw, I cannot put it fully into words.

I am not in love with just another man. I am in love with the father of my babies. The one who called me beautiful through nights of ugly, called me strong through days of weak, called me valuable through days of uncertainty. The one who waited patiently for me. Who washed the sheets of vomit as I bathed the fever infested child.

This is love dear girl. This is passion. It is being one with he who is going to be there for you, till death do you part, regardless. It is something mystical and unexplainable. It is something crazy. It is crazy hot sex.

Wait dear girl. Wait for him. There is nothing so beautiful as finding your heart in his, the one who will wait for you–even after marriage.

Love,

Mom

8.5 Months

We've grown quite attached to eachother the past couple weeks, with Natalie sick/ daycare on holiday/ me staying home on vacay

It broke my heart when I left for work today. She woke up, tracked me & wailed when I left the room
Brooooke my heart

37 weeks

With childcare on a 3 week holiday, I've had to take vacation from work to solely watch Natalie.  Ite been tough, with Natalie being mostly sick.  But now that it's been 10 days, I am really getting into the sync of things and loving this full time mommy gig.

She's really good at self play, as long as I'm right by her.  She likes to play on her back, tummy time, and sitting up.  Her favorite toy has become this flip phone.  She's constantly opening and closing it, touching the buttons, and munching of course.  Enjoys her car rides, as long as it's less than 15 minutes.  Loves being forward facing in daddy's ergo & falling asleep wrapped closely to my heart every night.

I'm dreading the 3 days I'll work- 12/23, 24, 25 this week but already looking forward to my 3 day weekend.  Maybe I should take these weeks off work to just spend time with Natalie.  

Daddy's Little Girl

So cute, between snores she started to whisper

Appa appa

Wait I'm jealous 

Poop Talk

 After first intro to solids, Natalie went from daily morning poops to.. 13 days without! Now she goes 2-5 days without then 2-3 days of daily poops. All different shades and textures of Browns

Since getting a fever, she's been off solids & only BFing, & now going 1-3x daily. An orangey yellow syrupy with little white curd or brown stringlike stuffSo gross so gross

Roseola then Stomach Flu

So, we went to the pediatrician
Natalie just got over roseola, with the rash scheduler to go away tomorrow
But she has stomach flu, gotta brace myself for 2 more days of vomiting, then 2-3 days of diarrhea

36 weeks

Now the backward crawling is quite deliberate
She really hates when I wipe off her snot or even worse.. Use the nose Frida.  It's the absolute worst thing that can possibly happen to her
Pink flamingos are her favorite animal
Can reach and yank off her hair bow and likes munching on them,.. Uhoh

Fever Over

No more 103-104F temps
But too bad it's raining, our planned zoo outing has been tabled.. But glad so j can rest up
Checking temps every 2 hours = exhausting

Happy 8 months

Started the day beating a fever, but had to table our zoo outing with the pouring rain.

Instead it was a lazy day in, Phil's BBQ and some outlet shopping. Not shabby

Spoiler alert- fever broke

Natalie starting fevering Wednesday night and (spoiler alert) it just broke now. 99.9F 

I am so relieved

It's been crazy cuz she would throw up immediately after oral Tylenol. Like we can hear her stomach rumble & see it retract, then she would hurl. Nonstop vomiting, again and again.  everything would come out. 

This  happened 3x, even with a little bit of Tylenol

I knew the dehydration coupled with temps of 101-102 would warrant an ER visi

Luckily, I remembered that Tylenol is available as a suppository. So James was running around town, found it at the 4th pharmacy

& we've been "controlling" her temps with that.  At one point today, it was 104F but luckily not for long.  

Between every 2 hour rectal temp checks, nursing every 1.5- 2 hours and nonstop cat naps (requiring us holding and soothing her).. I'm exhausted

And it's only 5 am 

Off to the zoo

Celebrating with a little getaway to Carlsbad/ San Diego

Too bad Natalie's first fever started the night before the trip 

Up the Butt

Natalie starting fevering Wednesday night and (spoiler alert) it just broke now. 99.9F
I'm so relieved

It's been crazy cuz she would throw up immediately after oral Tylenol. Like we can hear her stomach rumble & see it retract, then she would hurl. Nonstop and everything would come out. It happened 3x, and I knew the dehydration coupled with temps of 101-102 would warrant an ER visit
Luckily, I remembered that Tylenol is available as a suppository. So James was running around town, found it at the 4th pharmacy
& we've been "controlling" her temps with that. 

35 weeks

Nonstop battling the sniffles
This weekend I'm working, so it's daddy daughter time.  Heard she's super fussy and pretty much attached 24-7

Still a little chatter bug, saying umma on bad fussy mood & appa when happy. She started waving hello and goodbye, and even signing milk (we couple it with "yummy yummy") with her little hands.

Crawling

.. Backward

Today, the crawling starts 

Backwards for now

Sleep Routine

I've given up
& resorted to holding, rocking /bouncing, singing Natalie to sleep, followed by standing for 5-10 mins, then her sleeping on me for 15-20 mins before I attempt to put her down
Or a variation of ^^the above, sometimes with baby wearing, sometimes James does part of it.. 
Every Night
Every single night..

34 weeks

11/28-

Finally Thanksgiving

It was harder than I thought it'd be, having to work thanksgiving & Black Friday. I wanted to be honest badly with my little family

So this morning, I really loved it when baby woke & needed me.. Loved it

I changed her, played with her, then held and sang her to sleep

She's in my arms right now, sleeping. My last two attempts to sit I months bed was met with protest.  Half asleep but with threats to wake up. So here I am, slowly walking the room carrying 22 pounds. And smiling 

Congestion

I have a snorting pig for a baby 🐷

Last Thursday her sniffles turned to full blown running nose on Friday & pretty much all weekend was sick. She just got better Tuesday, & I felt so bad but she was scheduled & got her second dose of the flu shot today

Tomorrow is thanksgiving 

& I'm going into work.

So sad, I was looking forward to spending some family time together 

Nonstop nap

Natalie fell asleep in her high chair at daycare, didn't even finish her bottle and konked out.  My ringing the doorbell actually woke her a little but immediately dozed back to sleep.  She did wake, was awake on the drive home, and then dozed off while nursing.  She slept her full nap (again) and woke to 5 o'clock darkness.  Played a bit then fussed & when she started to rub her eyes I just rocked and sang her back to sleep. Been sleeping since.. I'm in awe

But my heart aches for her

33 weeks

What started as a little extra boogers became full fledged congestion, runny nose, and cough

My heart aches for baby Natalie, especially when she's having a tough time breathing in her sleep or while nursing. 

I'm sitting and holding her upright so she can breath a little better.  Her whistling nose snores are are cute as it is pitiful 

New thing

Blowing raspberries

So cute 

7 months 7 days

She's my everything

32 weeks

The Ellen Show

11  months today,

& i'm told she might as well go on the Ellen show, since her FB page just featured this little cutie

Current sleep schedule

Everything has changed since I went back to work

Now, Natalie is 

- Up at 8/830

- naps twice

- down by 9/930

So, here's our usual (& crazy) schedule
When i work, i get home earliest 745 PM, but regardles

830 PM- bath, sometimes skipped

9/930 PM- ideally, baby is asleep

If I can't get her to sleep, James takes her at 930 and works his magic. Regardless, she sleeps on me until
1030/11 PM when I transfer her off me.  which honestly hasn't been happening

**10 PM to 130/2 AM** James on work call, yup. five nights a week, poor daddy

1130 PM/ 12 AM- wakes up, usually a diaper change & some snuggle fixes her up. If not, I'll nurse her & put her down next to me. This is when I sleep-sleep

130/2 AM- when James goes to sleep, I'll dream nurse Natalie.  Skipped if she nursed at MN

430/5 AM- like an alarm, she wakes up.  Then i'll nurse her.  there's been 1-2 occasions that when she doesn't wake..

6 AM- I'll wake her to nurse her before leaving to work. 

8/830 AM- up and James takes her to daycare by 845, or she hangs out with mama on my day off 

Natalie used to wake with the sun & have 3 naps.  Now that she sleeps in, she gets 2 naps

Usually 12, for 30 mins 

Usually 4, for 60-90 mins 

That said, just last week she had an epic 3 hour nap at 330, haha

Daddy's little girl

It has happened already

Just the way she says Appa, and also when she says it.. Always in happiness. The gurgling baby talk convos she has with him, being all smiles when waking up next to him,.. Natalie has become daddy's girl

I see the pride and joy that James gets, and her love for him also fuels his determination to become that "best dad"

Just now, I hear him singing to her

Na-ri, Nari-ya, yea yea ya Nari-ya

Nari, Nari, Natalie yea yea..

I know he's holding bouncing and just doing it all

I can hear her murmur, as she fall asleep 

31 weeks

Natalie has really found her voice the past week.  She's been practicing her ahhh-Ppa!  and when she's in a great mood, would chit chat Da-da-da-da-da Daaaaa-da-da-da Da!

She's also sitting up pretty well, but more interested in reaching for things. Be it a tag on a blanket, her toy, or even for mommy or daddy.  Speaking of which, she now reaches out for us.  it warms my heart so much

Reading

 Reading, while the parents sleep in

(She's a week from 7 months!! Someone hold meeeeee)

Daycare baby

This morning, I dropped Natalie off at her daycare.  It went smoothly, especially for me. I felt emotionally stable, & on the drive home I envisioned myself utilizing the alone time to get household chores done.  So, I did one thing , and have been sitting on my bed for the rest of the time.  I'm sad, disturbed, and just confused with having this time by myself at home. 

I can't wait to pick up my baby

30 weeks

Happy Halloween!

Curiosity

Wondering how Natalie is doing..

Not knowing, is driving me crazy

I'm glad James took charge, otherwise I can see myself checking in every hour

But to know that Natalie was scared when James gave her to Jaime (the daycare owner), that he held her hand for a bit. Just tears at my heart

The minutes today go by so slow..

First day Jitters

Daycare starts today, 

Why am I so nervous? 

Just Now

Just now, hehe
James is making an ergonomic keyboard, & Natalie thinks it's her newest toy

29 weeks

Favorite words
Ummm ma!
Gheeeee
Ahhh ppa!

Daddy's lullaby

So Natalie was throwing a fit

She started whimpering and whining cuz we dimmed the lights and pretended to sleep

Then she started getting real bad, bawling 

The entire time belly on belly with James & I was laying next to them pretending to sleep 

It's sorta sweet 

But after she was crying heavily, James is holding and rocking and bouncing

And I can hear her whimpering

And James singing

She is doing the sad sighs and whimpers

So she's fine

She just knew it was bedtime and wanted to play

I never heard James sing like this! He's singing the exact lullaby I sing her

Haha 

I just sing random songs but the words are Nari Nari Natalie

Naaaa na na na na Nari ya

On a roll

3 oz gulped down, so my mom gave 2 oz more

Sorry not sorry for spamming

Bottle strike- over

I'm at work

But guiiiiiseeeee, gueeeesss what?! 

Natalie took the bottle!

Grandma quits

No surprise- my mom quit. She's so stubborn & wont admit it's her physical & mental inability. She's pointing fingers, & saying its to salvage/ not further damage her relationship with me.  Here's the thing, it's all in her head. She's a sensitive Susie that needs all the hair pets in the world.  I've only "critiqued" her in 2 areas, where I created "rules". Otherwise, I've let her have free reign.  

SHe only lasted 2 weeks, even though she says its 3. I can't count the first week, cuz she watched Natalie for a day and was out or commission for 4.  

She keeps doing this sad face with lip pout, and how she wished she raised Natalie for a full year (until she's 18 mo) TO Natalie. Like prop Natalie on her lap to say this, & baby kept crying. After she did this a couple times, I sorta snapped at her and pointed out baby is crying. If you take her from me during the sleep routine, help me out & don't let her cry. Hold her or something, 

Honestly, now that she quit her "job"- I feel like I don't have to hold my thoughts.  I've told her I had to bite my tongue, and only mentioned what I must as mama bear being protective.  

K, long rant over 

28 weeks

Has her own language 

Understands some of our words 

Went to pumpkin patch, and she's scared of giant pumpkins hehe

First Tooth at 6 months

10/14

Overnight, a tooth broke through.  Where did my baby go?

So today was Natalie's  6 month wellness checkup -

21 lb 5 ounces! 27 inches long! 

That makes her 

99% weight

94% length

100% head circumference, haha no surprise

She got four shots, 

And stopped crying right away but was whimpering for a while.  Even when we got home, so I gave her a little Popsicle treat

She doesn't know that it's just frozen mommy's milk, hehe

Baby snores

10/12/15-

Oh how sweet these little breaths are

Sometimes, like now, even through sleep deprivation and physical exhaustion I just can't bear to go back to sleep.  So I 

6 months

happy half birthday to my baby girl
So sad mommy has to work

27 weeks

special Saturday,
Natalie finally poop (lots of chocolate fudge brownie batter, hehe)

She's also getting the hang of mommy going to work, or James is getting the hang of all day daddy-daughter time.

Nightmare come true

This last hour, Baby rolled off the bed. The events leading to it, I have complete amnesia.  I've never experienced that inability to recall something that just happened.

What I do remember is my nightmare. Me standing there, just an arms reach but not really.  Then simultaneously seeing baby laying at the edge, and  rolling over the edge.  With me screaming & reaching for her, but she's a tad further than the arms reach.  She falls, face down, and for a second is laying there as I am I shock.  There's also husband, who popped up yelling as I'm picking up the baby.  She starts to cry in my arms, as I cry

Over and over
But I can't remember how this can happen.  Why I'm there standing, why baby is there laying in the edge..
It's such a nightmare

No poo poo- 1 week

Poor baby, Had gas pains all night
It's better during the day, but her toots smell like poop.
I wiped a poop smear off her crack in one of the morning diaper changing.   Hopefully she goes soon

No poo poo- day 4

Never skipped one 

& now on day four

Has the toots, stronger and louder

Has the morning squirm, hyper flexing so strongly she ends up coughing

Going to start prunes..

I feel so bad

Giggles

Just loving life of course

26 weeks

Rushed home, & honestly I'm quite sad that Natalie is still napping 

A bit of me is sad that she's perfectly fine without me, that she does so well with her daddy.

The last 3 days I went to work. Thursday and Friday, I came home in time for her final nap and we slept together. But today, she went straight into her third nap with her daddy

I can't wait for her to awaken

So I can smother her with smooches

No poo poo

First day, not pooping

First Time typing

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1[qikj13;qelp`w.e21sjunuhojnwer,l;kw34.4wl./'p;/;"
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Per dad- 

she was watching me type and been wanting to touch it [the keyboard, with]

her hands

She rolled!!

I missed the first time, she did it in the crib with daddy watching 

But just saw her do it the second and third time. Back to belly!!

First Day Away

First day back, 

But for me it was my first day away.  Away from my baby 

I was able to pump three times, and had an output of 15 ounces.  Which are 15 ounces that should be in baby's belly.  Turned out, she barely has 1 ounce.  Luckily, she had wet diapers.  Also, started solids earlier than planned and had some rice cereal for brunch & sweet potatoes late afternoon.  But she has just one..

Hold me

--

‼️HELP⁉️
Bottle refusal, actually multiple bottle refusal, & I've tried
- soft spout sippy cup (Tommy tippee)
- Also without valve, which pours when tilted
- Silicon spout sippy (pura Kiki)
- spoon
- Oral syringe
- Dropper
- Cup
After I ruined the bottle reintroduction, the other options have been tried mostly by James.  She probably got gets the most progress with him, but she'd rather starve at night. So he only had a few weekends to try

I went back to work today, & my mom came over yesterday afternoon and tried ONCE, the bottl and sippy.  Gave 0.1 ounce, and that's being generous.  Today she tried the other options while I was at work.  She thinks she gave 1 oz, and spilled 1.5 oz.  who knows

Any suggestions?

I followed the recommendation of reintroducing the bottle 2 weeks prior to my work start date
That gave James only a handful of weekend days
My mom when visiting just didn't try, citing that all babies figure it out.  After my practically begging, she came Sunday afternoon (not morning as requested) & tried once

Here's the thing, since I knew Natalie was refusing the bottle & sippy, I changed up our solids plan.  I added cereal for her morning wake time, & I mix breast milk with everything and feed with a spoon.  She knows how to take the spoon

The reason why it's worrisome-
Natalie took max 1 oz of milk today,  I pumped 15 oz at work. I had to make my sessions short.. & I was gone for 13.5 hours. I did feed her at 5am and 6am before leaving, and immediately when I got home.  She ate her morning cereal & afternoon veggies,but it's only
- cereal 1/2 tablespoon mixed with 2 tablespoon of milk
- sweet potato, almost 2 tablespoons

Should I be worried? is this something I should go to pediatrician to on my 2 days off
What can I do? Any ideas??

So so desperate

Day before

I am going to miss her dearly tomorrow.  Twelve hour shift, plus the commute. I won't see her for over 13 hours.  Since her birth, I don't think I've gone more than an hour or two of separation.

Baby is having a tough time going to sleep tonight, even with the sleep routine spot on.  She's just not having it

Obviously tired, rubbing her eyes every chance she gets & making her little sleep sounds.  But my go-to side diagonal hold  couple with the "Nari Nari Nari Natalie" lullaby just isn't working.

She must sense my worry and anxiety

As a breather (for me, & cool down for baby), I laid her next to my face on the bed. She atretched, and enjoyed the sheets coolness.  She was just perfect, the adoring eyes as she reached for my face and hair.  I was about to reach for my phone to snap a photo, but just decided to relish that moment.  Brought me to tears

25 weeks

tears flowing as I log in to write something here

This is my last couple days being a full time mommy to my baby Natalie.  I have never felt more accomplished and defeated at the same time.

From the pregnancy itself, to a painful labor that ended up with my being wheeled to the OR, to seeing Natalie for the first time.  Then the adjustment into motherhood, from the very first night I beared down on the labor pains & stood up to hold and sing my baby to sleep.  I made it tough on myself, all those sleepless hours wth aching arms, yet I'll never give that time time away.  Then, the tough infancy of breastfeeding pain, anxiety and effort to overcome slow weight gain, and of course.. managing hip dysplasia.

During these last five and a half months of motherhood, I've come a long way.

Now it's time to let go, and it's just not as imagined.  I was hoping to relish this weekend, go somewhere scenic for memory photos.  But the entire morning was spent trying to bottle train.  I'm unsure if my attempts have skewed the progress that James made.

I may be comforted with her suckling at my breast a thousand times more her

On our way

to Chickfila, of course

The Crib Part 2

We are still transitioning her, usually multiple attempts that first streak after her bedtime routine.  It really just translates to me camped out in her room until her late night (130-2am) feed

Just put her in her own bed, & As I lay in my own bed, I miss the baby breathing so much.  I hear it through the monitor, but it's just not the same

Less frustrating when she starts to stir & needs to be put back to sleep 

Like now 

Time for this mama to run, it's been over 2 minutes

Last Monday

Today is my last Monday at home with the baby.  Next week, I'll be returning to work

I did what I could to spend the most amount of time possible with Natalie, stacking sick tIme, FMLA and vacation to my too-short 6 weeks of maternity leave. Before she was born, the 5.5 months felt plenty but now..

I am going to miss this so much

24 weeks

this past week, Natalie has been doing a lot more.. Talking, grabbing, playing with her feet, & even sleeping in her crib in her own room
And apparently, so have I.  Not kn the crib with her, but practically.

Her night routine has started with her nursing then napping on me shortly after.  Sometimes interrupted with a bath, then she's out to sleep in her crib.  I'm camped out right next to her, until 130/2 am.  After I nurse her, I head into bed.  Then rely on the dropcam but honestly I'm back within an hour to soothe and comfort her back to sleep. Sometimes it takes one attempt, sometimes I'm putting her down over 5 times.  Then Every other night (it seems), she just ends up sleeping on me until the early morning 430/5 am feed.  Then we all migrate to my bed until Natalie wakes with the sun.

Planned to write more but she's stirring, 130 am feed

Playtime amplified

She now plays aggressively in her gyms (both piano & ocean), liking to kick at the hanging toys. Her grabbing is more precise and I love it when she clasps onto a toy with one hand

She's so fun 

& I only have 2 more weeks with her 

: ::cry cry:: :

The Crib

Doing very well transitioning to the crib, and in her own room. There's no turning back, the co sleeper has been packed up 

The first two nights I camped out in Natalie's room, with James right outside in the living room

But yesterday. The drop cam was set up and Natalie slept so well overnight 

First 3 hours on me, in our bed.  With James napping for a bit (I swear she is comforted by his loading almost-snoring breathing), then we gave her a bath

And from midnight to 730 in her crib (I has to feed her at 1, 4, & 730) and now she's sleeping on me while I doze off on our bed

Amazing 

23 weeks

On our way to celebrate a Dohl (first birthday) for dear Anna

& Natalie is just going to town with her newfound word "Eh"

So adorable,

5 months

Today, Natalie is 5 months old

& I have been a mommy for 5 months

Her morning blabber included multiple times of 음마, eum mah 

Which is pretty dang close to 엄마, um mah. Which means mom in Korean

I'll take it 

22 Weeks

Labor Day weekend, always will be special to me since I was proposed to at Kerry Park overlooking the Seattle skyline.  Now, we have a little baby in tow

Just recovering from her first cold, what a little trooper.

21 Weeks

Near-cation, & stayed at a five star resort. Completely different experience than our recent road trip up the California coast 

Initially planned to visit the San Diego zoo on Saturday but the weather was almost 20 degrees hotter than forecasted. Ended up enjoying a late brunch of friend chicken at hash house a gogo (what's up with restaurants not turning on the AC?) and enjoying a lazy stroll in balboa park.  

Ended the evening picking up some Phil's that we enjoyed in the hotel lounge.  Natalie graced us by sleeping during the drive from Sandiego and the entire time we had dinner.  Her four month keep may have just ended, she went down for almost 12 hours (not including the evening nap) with the first stretch lasting FIVE hours.  It seems as though a wet diaper wakes her more than hunger.  

Mamma

During tummy time today, Natalie looked straight at me and said Mamma.  

Yes, it was part of her whining, and was sandwiched between her other baby babble. Yes, she was looking at me, almost in tears, trying to ask to be carried.  But it was clear, distinct, and there.

20 Weeks

Fun weekend, Natalie is getting the hang it going out for lunch & then napping in the baby carrier mommy & daddy do some errands

Also. Bathroom done, minus the decor.  & Natalie Christianed it with her first bath  

My Just Cuz

Neon cutie

Was gifted the outfit , loved it so much I went & bought the matching hat

Tough night

Another extremely tough night, & this time on my own since I'm at my parents

Natalie & I don't get more than 15-30 mins of sleep before she whimpers 

- I can comfort nurse her

- but just the last 2 times, she scream cries in probably gas pain.  That means I'm holding dancing singing her around the house, sweating, sore arms..

We had a tough drive over, & she cried on/ off the entire 35-40 minutes.  Then that terrible terrible cry for 15 minutes, where I couldn't even exit the freeway. Driving through Compton/ south central LA. She probably swallowed a LOT of air

She's sleeping on my chest for now.. Hope this time she can go for more than 15 minutes. I need the sleep  

19 weeks

Past week has been extremely tough. Started off with rash on her diaper area skin folds that ended up becoming full blown hives.  Head to toe, hives that would appear over & over. Just broke my heart to see Natalie in such discomfort

Managed to go by without giving the Benadryl

All the extra snuggles ended up with my Gavin some pain- knees, ankles & extrnely sore arms. Friday night tested us.. And our confidence as parents.  But ultimately brought us closer together.  

We are trying to enjoy this weekend 

Lip Smacking & Grunts

New things she's learned & loves to do

4 Months

My precious princess turned 4 months old today.  She woke up in great spirits & had plenty to tell us, her parents.  

18 weeks

Almost 4 months,

& her first full on diaper rash with hives aggregated by new baby wipes (seventh generation)

Calls for naked tummy time!

Tummy time

is PLaytime!

17 weeks (3 months 3 weeks)

Day 11- Santa Barbara, home sweet home

Another late start, then drove to Santa Barbara.  Enjoyed the harbor, had lunch and a photo session, the did a driving tour of Santa Barbara.

Made it home.  After a little break at home, late nengmyun dinner at Chungkiwa. Poor Natalie cried on our drive back home

Day 10- Carmel, Pismo

James slept in a bit, so ended up skipping Monterey.

Carmel

Skipped Bixby bridge

Pismo again

Bundled Up

cuz Mommy wants a photo shoot on the chilly & windy pier

Day 9- longest Drive, Golden Gate

Made it to the Bay Area, & stayed at vomac

Day 8- Redwood, Cresceny City

Day 7- Avenue of Giants, Eureka

Avenue of the Giants, a 31-mile drive through redwoods by the Eel River. few hours if you decide to get out of your car and ponder the trees- chimney tree, random groves, founders tree hiking loop, & anticlimactic immortal tree. Got back on 101 N for hour drive to Eureka.  Late lunch at Somoa House, menu was roast beef. Giant loaf was amazing.  Saw the Victorian mansion, then sequoia park garden, & walked the sequoia Park.  Never did the wandering of city’s Old Town and Waterfront, a bit of a ghost town. Checked into hotel, New York style pizza & buffalo wings.  Went to bed early! Actually woke at midnight to wash up

Day 6- Mendocino

Mendocino

Fort Bragg

Highway 1 sunset

Late checkin 

drive to Mendocino, scenic curvy drive on 128 thru wineries & Navarro state park, with stop at apple farm.  check out point arena lighthouse, lunch at egghead fort Bragg, then back to Mendocino headlands state park, glass beach in fort Bragg, then sunset drive up highway 1,  to leggert drive thru tree closed, then 101 to hotel for late check in -

16 weeks

On the road

Day 5- Back on the Road

Made it to Zachary's last swim lesson for the summer

85c for salted caramel iced coffee & pastries

Picked up fried chicken sandwiches from Bakesale Betty. A bit shocked at the change, 

Yupp, buns. No longer a roll 

Just crossed the Richmond San Rafael bridge on the drive to Point Reyes.  The plan is to pull over to lunch on our sandwiches the minute baby Natalie wakes from her nap. But impressively, she is hitting record time. Becoming a pro road tripper

Planning to drop by a winery or two, before our fancy night in at a Best western.  Tonight might just be the priciest hotel, $200

--

Ended up enjoying the drive to point Reyes & getting "that" family photo at the point Reyes lighthouse.  We wanted to do oysters at hog island, but never made it by closing time 5pm so instead had dinner at point Reyes station before checking into cloverdale. 

We decided to take an evening stroll into downtown cloverdale.  A bit of a nice surprise, we ran into a evening wine & music festival.  Of course, I ended up with an ice cream cone 

Day 4- Hanging out with the Chong's

Started the day with Delicious breakfast bacon quesadillas, compliments to chef Tina

It was nice & relaxing to do our morning routine at a leisurely pace. And at a home. 

Decided to get some fresh air & picked up Asian Box, a spin on chipotle, to picnic at Stanford.  Perfect weather to lay out on the lush green grass. With the winds rustling the tree branches against the bright blue sky, Natalie was enamored by her real life mobile.  It almost felt like pre baby life,  by picking up Taiwanese milk tea boba drinks on the way back home 

Dinner we went out to Pacific Catch, de Japanese & sushi.  Tried Tina's trick in propping up the infant car seat like a chair. Natalie did so well, was fully entertained. 

Desserts were at home, ice cream in waffle cones. Paired with adult drinks

Honestly this is the life 

Already?

Seems to be growing out of her infant car seat.  I have no idea how babies fit in for over an year!

Day 3 - Morro Bay, Montano de Oso, Paso Robles, King City, & The Chong's

Started the day off seeing Morro Rock peeking into the marine layer.  Didn't have to go far, the view was perfect from the hotel room.  We ventured closer & took some family photos.  James got some use out of the tripod

We drove through Morro State Park, there wasn't much but just to cross off our list of places 

Then, we headed over to Montano de Oso.  Of course, with a nursing session in Starbucks parking lot.  Natalie was asleep, & the cliffs required a hike.  So instead, James & I took some memory photos just us two.  Like the pre-baby days.  

We had lunch at Paso Robles, in a cute little patio at Thomas Hill Organics.

Currently on te drive to Mountain View to visit the Chong's. The plan is to stop by King City for a park that Caught James' eyes.  Seems like we will also run into rush hour traffic.  But Quite excited to reunite Natalie with her unnie Corinne. 

Day 2- Pismo Beach

After a filling breakfast, we headed over to Pismo beach.  Natalie was not a fan of the bright sun or hot weather.  But we managed to squeeze in some photos in front of the lifeguard tower

We checked out the monarch butterfly grove, but the walking trails were closed for renovation. & honestly, there was not One butterfly in sight.  But Natalie cheered up on the side of the road, when the ocean winds tickled her cheeks.  She would giggle and try to take a bite of the breeze. 

I realized that Natalie needed a sun hat, so we swung by the outlets.  Carter's only had beanies (in this humid hot summer weather?!) so we went to Gymboree.  A bit loose, but got her a peachy pink hat in size 3-6 months.  

Then we went to Pismo beach boardwalk for some eats.  Had clam chowder in bread bowl with calamari & chips at splash cafe.  We did run into a hiccup, so ended up having our meal comped.  After a nice stroll on the boardwalk, James bought me the best cinnamon roll I've ever had at Old West.

We drove up to Morro Bay and checked in for the night at Ascot Suites.  Our view was of the famous Morro Rock.  Again, Natalie had her relaxing bath time & was done for te nught.  James took a brisk walk to the Main Street to pick up some Thai food.  Ended up being te most expensive Thai we've ever had.  I mean, $14 for two veggie spring rolls?!

I got to say, today was one of the Top Days when it comes to how often and how much Natalie pooped.  Poor thing went all day long, with splotchy pink butt as proof 

15 weeks

7/18-

Loves to chit chat & sing along

Her favorite toy is probably the kick and play piano, & started to like the jungle bouncer. Stares intently at the swinging monkey and light up waterfall. 

Her quivering pout has easily become daddy's favorite expression.  Her ability to sleep the night (minus nursing & diaper changes) has become mommy' favorite accomplishment 

California coastal road trip- Day One

Left after the morning rush, with our first stop being lunch at breakfast joint in Ventura. Peet's was featured on Guy Fieri's diners drive thrus & dives.  Sweet Natalie slept thru the entire meal

Then we spent the day in solvang.  Complete with Danish from olsen's, then frozen treats from mcconnell's.  James got a couple photo session squeezed in

We then finished our first day on the road by checking into the Santa Maria inn.  Natalie got her nighttime bath, and was asleep.  So, James went out to pick up salvadorean food.  Even with 30 minutes before closing time, the doors were locked.  So he found a Mexican joint, & honestly it's the best Mexican I've had since going on my maternity leave 

100th day celebration

Today was the party for Natalie's 100th day.

14 Weeks

just started pouring rain..
In July
In Los Angeles..?

Baby girl has been so chatty, it's incredibly cute

Baby Trio

besties for life

Oh & Happy THREE Months

A day late, but here goes..

Happy THREE months! 

My dear daughter, you've become quite the chunkster & your parents couldn't be any prouder. We love your smiles, your giggles, your singing along to our horrible lullaby attempts.  We love how you coo at your best friends (albeit a flower mobile above your changing pad), how you study your shapes and colors with determination, & your fervorous piano playing (a fisher price play gym). As I mentally prepare to go back to work, I treasure every little bit of this time we have together.  Especially our snuggle time, *tears*

This month, mommy is Looking forward to celebrating your 100th day, then heading out for a family road trip. Eek!  Love love love you

13 weeks

I love you

12 weeks

Happy INDEPENDENCE day

Had a nice family outing to Maggiano's at Costa Mesa, to celebrate Ava's first.  It did include me cramped up on the paper towel table in the family bathroom, breastfeeding Natalie.  Twice.  Photo evidence on daddy's fancy d-SLR hehe. It was just nice to go somewhere as a family, and I truly think Natalie enjoyed herself. She was completely entertained, even drooled on her new pretty Chloe dress 

I guessed money, but little Ava picked the  stethoscope for her dohl janchee.  That was James' guess

We ended up coming straight home & enjoyed a wonderful last minute streak dinner. Gotta grill on summer holidays, right? Did some prep work to not startle Natalie with the local fireworks.  Turning on the central air, shutting all windows, holding and singing to her.  Then I noticed fireworks reflecting off the television.  Turned out, her had prime view from the loft window 

We might just have to stay in every year!

11 weeks

Oh how I love my little squish angel.  And how she adores me, happiest in my arms & tracking me when held by anybody else including daddy.

She's been really playing lots under her Underwater playgym & jungle mobile.  A good ten minutes at each "station", which might not seem like much but it's my opportunity to shove my mouth with lunch (sometimes chips and a drink) or take a pee.  She loves her flower mobile above the changing table, often cooing and smiling.  I refer to them as her best friends.  So I went and got the wimmer-ferguson stim mobile, which essentially are these simple image or patterned cards.  It's been attaching to her RockNplay cradle.  Initially she was ambivalent, but now catching her attention a bit more.

On a side note, the RNP has affectionately been renamed the Poop chair by daddy.  Cuz essentially, she's been going poop in there quite well.  I think it gives her little feet something to push against, hehe

The swing is still where she ends up hanging out, so mommy & daddy can have our meals together.  I try not to abuse her affinity for it, so I might have her in there max twice weekly (in addition to our dinners) to be able to do whatever emergent thing.

This past week, she's been sleeping through the nights.  There are several caveats..
- That it requires some work to get here to unwind and relax.  This including hourly nursing for several sessions.  Me holding and dancing her, to my childhood tunes.. Sound of Music, Disney's it's a small world, kindergarten and Christmas songs
- If she's too fussy, we include a bath that averages every other day
- keeping her warm, the footed pajamas have been working the best
- Also, her first "round" of deep sleep is in my arms against my shoulder and chest.  It's okay, since that's my time to catch up with the world via iPad (including now).  I no longer bother trying to put her down, as she would wake in minutes.  At which point, only nursing would calm her.  But of course, my supply wouldn't have replenished and it becomes a nightmarish downward spiraling insomnia for the both of us
- When I hear her rustle about, usually after a good 2 hours after the start of her nursing, I take her for a diaper change and usually a session of in-the-dark night nursing.  I can't be lazy about this, cuz once she fully awakens, I would have to start from the very beginning
- this would total 10-13 hours of sleep, only interrupted wth the above (which is realy just me hustling)

I want to say we got a pretty good understanding of each other:)

Happy Father's Day

"My father used to say that it's never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, 'You never know what you can accomplish until you try,'" - Michael Jordan

"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection," - Sigmund Freud

"I think my mom put it best. She said, 'Little girls soften their daddy's hearts,'" - Paul Walker

I'm grew up quite the lucky girl, with the adoring love of my father.  I not only wish the same for Natalie, I can confidently raise her knowing she has a father that will let her chase her dreams and love her unconditionally 

10 Weeks

Started off with the longest stretch of sleep.  I would be waking before natalie, mostly from habit but also from engorgement.  Little baby kept sleeping away, and as she stirred, I would change her diaper & start nursing,  I kept her sleepiness extended to all day, and all morning!
Side note, Pretty much gave into exclusively co-sleeping, mostly out of weighing the benefit of longer (less deep) sleep over less sleep in general.

Was just nice snoozing all morning, and "sleeping in".  Even more so for James, since hes not the one nursing Hehe

Had a late lunch outing to sawtelle.  Ended up frustrated at the parking garage, including an impatient girl too generous with her horn.  Poor natalie screamed in surprise.  Then unimpressed with chicken Dijon (dry), and our favorite boba milk tea shop was closed for renovation.  But we made it out!  Plus, it was my first time breastfeeding in public.  Wasn't perfect, but it happened.

Natalie got plenty of playtime with her dad.  Honestly, James is great keeping her entertained.  She's come to a point where she watches him, even while nursing!

It's been a while since I made dinner.  It happened, the menu was salt & pepper chicken breast, served with spaghetti (but bow tie) and arugula drizzled in lemon olive oil.  Although it was late, then sat there getting cold while natalie nursed, so ended up eating dinner at 10 pm.

& the highlight was that we watched tv for the first time since becoming parents (OITNB)
Thought it's fine, natalie is still an infant.  Plus, we kept her eyes away from the tv.  She was always held , and mostly slept in our arms.

9 weeks

Happy 2 months

Today is exactly Month 2, and baby natalie celebrated by sleeping in ALL night (possibly 6+ hours?) for the first time. 

Well, I did change her diaper & nurse her in her sleepy state. But I never had to carry her around the home, bouncing & leg lunging.  She just went to sleep!  I was in shock, and stayed awake just waiting for her to cry out. Haha

Oh & can't forget that all morning she was in a happy smiling mood & napped well. And this afternoon, too. Minus a hiccup episode, that I was happy to console with some bouncing and singing 

8 weeks

Great news

AW me & Natalie-

(Photo- last time in the harness)

Since hearing the devastating news of possible hip dysplasia (day 4), to deciding to treat preemptively & getting the Pavlik harness / brace on (day 10), compounded with low birth weight & slow weight gain, exclusively pumping for a while (natalie just couldn't last more than 5 mins breastfeeding), & getting her back on the Breast .. Honestly, it's been tough. 

This Tuesday, we went in for an ultrasound.  It ended up being Natalie's worst cry sesh, especially when they were pulling and pushing on her little hips.  Well, the harness & ultrasound was all worth it..

Natalie has normal hips! 

Today's appointment with the pediatric orthopaedic surgeon was possibly one of my happiest days PP.  He confirmed the radiologic findings with a physical exam

Natalie is OUT of the harness,

gonna celebrate by getting her IN A DRESS, like the little lady she should be Hehe

Will post that when it happens (right now she's happily naked & nursing.. What we couldn't do with the harness)

D-day

Getting out of the house is tough, especially when something out of ordinary happens (cough cough, pooplosion)

But today is special

We are heading to see dr.bowen, pediatric orthopaedic surgeon 

Smiles & Giggle

It's a special day,

This evening natalie smiled & giggled. Not her typical "gas smile" reflex, but a true one as i smiled & talked to her.  

It struck my heart in a way, I can't even describe 

Other than, I am so in love 

7 weeks

Tough

The past 24 hours have been rough..

Finally little natalie is sleeping peacefully in my right arm. I'm losing sensation but will brace through it  

5 weeks

5/16/15

Time just keeps passing, 

Just seems like I just gave birth & met my little baby.  But here I am with an almost-chubby little person of mine.  I sometimes look at her, overwhelmed by love, and wonder jc 

My Problems

When they baby was up since 4AM and finally falls asleep after 8AM

But.. Deeply asleep, snoring softly, beautiful to see & hear. But On my chest

My boobies are KILLING me

I need her to nurse or I need to pump

But I don't want I wake her...

Laying here wondering what to do, seems like a bigger dilemma than anything I've had to decide before

Can't believe this is my life ..

I envy (non- parents) people having real problems, making real decisions 

Becoming a mom, I realize how these small (stupid) decisions can occupy the mind, to almost a point of insanity 

Now I see how it's such a big deal.. Which preschool/ summer camp/ 50% on a spelling test can become

4 weeks

5/9/15

Post partum, babies are no longer something weeks old. But it's become a habit, after time lining my pregnancy in suchc fashion

Happy 4 weeks, to my beautiful (& perpetually hungry) little baby Natalie 

She likes being tucked inside an armpit, my shoulders were crampy but I didn't care since my heart was full 

Happy Mother's Day

My first as a mother.

Spent at home, with husband and daughter.  Pancake brunch & Mexican dinner.  I prefer no other way 

Also, thought this article just hit home for me 

I Finally See You, Mom

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7161612

Ortho

Update- just got back from the pediatric orthopaedic appt

- They X-rayed, her hip is NOT dislocated

- NP did a full exam, nothing else concerning & readjusted the harness

- pediatric ortho surgeon also recheck the harness refit 

Had us Reschedule the hip ultrasound, right now at 6 weeks 2 days.  I'm tempted to push it to 7.. Cuz that week I have dr appt everyday (tues US, wed Obgyn, thur ortho, fri ped !!)

Plan is to harness until ultrasound results. Ortho might take her off or order an additional 6 weeks.  

Also, she's 8lb 1oz (with her clothes and harness on, so prob almost 8lb) which means she gained more than her 1 oz/ day!! AND i got the Ok to wear her as long as her legs face out. I got a stash.. k'tan wrap, bjorn, beco & Ergo 360 hehe 

Husband just got..

..pooped on

Bright yellow uni-like poo

Last week, I wasn't quick enough covering baby with a washcloth after washing her bum in the sink. She had an accident and peed all over me & my pants.  Thought that was bad

Nope, being pooped on is worse

Too bad I was in shock, 

We don't have a photo documenting this moment ;)