She rolled!!

I missed the first time, she did it in the crib with daddy watching 

But just saw her do it the second and third time. Back to belly!!

First Day Away

First day back, 

But for me it was my first day away.  Away from my baby 

I was able to pump three times, and had an output of 15 ounces.  Which are 15 ounces that should be in baby's belly.  Turned out, she barely has 1 ounce.  Luckily, she had wet diapers.  Also, started solids earlier than planned and had some rice cereal for brunch & sweet potatoes late afternoon.  But she has just one..

Hold me

--

‼️HELP⁉️
Bottle refusal, actually multiple bottle refusal, & I've tried
- soft spout sippy cup (Tommy tippee)
- Also without valve, which pours when tilted
- Silicon spout sippy (pura Kiki)
- spoon
- Oral syringe
- Dropper
- Cup
After I ruined the bottle reintroduction, the other options have been tried mostly by James.  She probably got gets the most progress with him, but she'd rather starve at night. So he only had a few weekends to try

I went back to work today, & my mom came over yesterday afternoon and tried ONCE, the bottl and sippy.  Gave 0.1 ounce, and that's being generous.  Today she tried the other options while I was at work.  She thinks she gave 1 oz, and spilled 1.5 oz.  who knows

Any suggestions?

I followed the recommendation of reintroducing the bottle 2 weeks prior to my work start date
That gave James only a handful of weekend days
My mom when visiting just didn't try, citing that all babies figure it out.  After my practically begging, she came Sunday afternoon (not morning as requested) & tried once

Here's the thing, since I knew Natalie was refusing the bottle & sippy, I changed up our solids plan.  I added cereal for her morning wake time, & I mix breast milk with everything and feed with a spoon.  She knows how to take the spoon

The reason why it's worrisome-
Natalie took max 1 oz of milk today,  I pumped 15 oz at work. I had to make my sessions short.. & I was gone for 13.5 hours. I did feed her at 5am and 6am before leaving, and immediately when I got home.  She ate her morning cereal & afternoon veggies,but it's only
- cereal 1/2 tablespoon mixed with 2 tablespoon of milk
- sweet potato, almost 2 tablespoons

Should I be worried? is this something I should go to pediatrician to on my 2 days off
What can I do? Any ideas??

So so desperate

Day before

I am going to miss her dearly tomorrow.  Twelve hour shift, plus the commute. I won't see her for over 13 hours.  Since her birth, I don't think I've gone more than an hour or two of separation.

Baby is having a tough time going to sleep tonight, even with the sleep routine spot on.  She's just not having it

Obviously tired, rubbing her eyes every chance she gets & making her little sleep sounds.  But my go-to side diagonal hold  couple with the "Nari Nari Nari Natalie" lullaby just isn't working.

She must sense my worry and anxiety

As a breather (for me, & cool down for baby), I laid her next to my face on the bed. She atretched, and enjoyed the sheets coolness.  She was just perfect, the adoring eyes as she reached for my face and hair.  I was about to reach for my phone to snap a photo, but just decided to relish that moment.  Brought me to tears

25 weeks

tears flowing as I log in to write something here

This is my last couple days being a full time mommy to my baby Natalie.  I have never felt more accomplished and defeated at the same time.

From the pregnancy itself, to a painful labor that ended up with my being wheeled to the OR, to seeing Natalie for the first time.  Then the adjustment into motherhood, from the very first night I beared down on the labor pains & stood up to hold and sing my baby to sleep.  I made it tough on myself, all those sleepless hours wth aching arms, yet I'll never give that time time away.  Then, the tough infancy of breastfeeding pain, anxiety and effort to overcome slow weight gain, and of course.. managing hip dysplasia.

During these last five and a half months of motherhood, I've come a long way.

Now it's time to let go, and it's just not as imagined.  I was hoping to relish this weekend, go somewhere scenic for memory photos.  But the entire morning was spent trying to bottle train.  I'm unsure if my attempts have skewed the progress that James made.

I may be comforted with her suckling at my breast a thousand times more her

On our way

to Chickfila, of course

The Crib Part 2

We are still transitioning her, usually multiple attempts that first streak after her bedtime routine.  It really just translates to me camped out in her room until her late night (130-2am) feed

Just put her in her own bed, & As I lay in my own bed, I miss the baby breathing so much.  I hear it through the monitor, but it's just not the same

Less frustrating when she starts to stir & needs to be put back to sleep 

Like now 

Time for this mama to run, it's been over 2 minutes

Last Monday

Today is my last Monday at home with the baby.  Next week, I'll be returning to work

I did what I could to spend the most amount of time possible with Natalie, stacking sick tIme, FMLA and vacation to my too-short 6 weeks of maternity leave. Before she was born, the 5.5 months felt plenty but now..

I am going to miss this so much

24 weeks

this past week, Natalie has been doing a lot more.. Talking, grabbing, playing with her feet, & even sleeping in her crib in her own room
And apparently, so have I.  Not kn the crib with her, but practically.

Her night routine has started with her nursing then napping on me shortly after.  Sometimes interrupted with a bath, then she's out to sleep in her crib.  I'm camped out right next to her, until 130/2 am.  After I nurse her, I head into bed.  Then rely on the dropcam but honestly I'm back within an hour to soothe and comfort her back to sleep. Sometimes it takes one attempt, sometimes I'm putting her down over 5 times.  Then Every other night (it seems), she just ends up sleeping on me until the early morning 430/5 am feed.  Then we all migrate to my bed until Natalie wakes with the sun.

Planned to write more but she's stirring, 130 am feed

Playtime amplified

She now plays aggressively in her gyms (both piano & ocean), liking to kick at the hanging toys. Her grabbing is more precise and I love it when she clasps onto a toy with one hand

She's so fun 

& I only have 2 more weeks with her 

: ::cry cry:: :

The Crib

Doing very well transitioning to the crib, and in her own room. There's no turning back, the co sleeper has been packed up 

The first two nights I camped out in Natalie's room, with James right outside in the living room

But yesterday. The drop cam was set up and Natalie slept so well overnight 

First 3 hours on me, in our bed.  With James napping for a bit (I swear she is comforted by his loading almost-snoring breathing), then we gave her a bath

And from midnight to 730 in her crib (I has to feed her at 1, 4, & 730) and now she's sleeping on me while I doze off on our bed

Amazing 

23 weeks

On our way to celebrate a Dohl (first birthday) for dear Anna

& Natalie is just going to town with her newfound word "Eh"

So adorable,

5 months

Today, Natalie is 5 months old

& I have been a mommy for 5 months

Her morning blabber included multiple times of 음마, eum mah 

Which is pretty dang close to 엄마, um mah. Which means mom in Korean

I'll take it 

22 Weeks

Labor Day weekend, always will be special to me since I was proposed to at Kerry Park overlooking the Seattle skyline.  Now, we have a little baby in tow

Just recovering from her first cold, what a little trooper.